UnNews:Eggman Pisses on the Moon, 0 Dead
18 June, Saturday, 2022
In an announcement made by Dr. Ivo Robotnik, mostly known as Dr. Eggman by everyone, Shadow the hedgehog is declared to be a b***h-a** motherf****er, for putting his hedgehog quilly dong out, which is said to be this big, using it to piss on his wife, which the former dearly misses.
Moments prior to the world-shaking announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog and his right-hand woman, Rouge the Bat were talking about pissing on the local Hot Topic, in which the former claims that by law, claiming something owned by someone else should be done by pissing on said item.
It was also declared in the announcement that Shadow's pingas is extremely small, which was the size of a walnut, except way smaller, before showing what his looks like, which he described it as: having all points and having no pillows and quills, and compared it to two balls and a bong.
As retaliation, he originally planned to piss on the Earth, using his "SUPER LASER PISS", but then decided that he needs to go higher, and proceeds to piss on the moon, which was broadcast all around the globe, with the feat especially shown to former President Obama.
On an interview with the man himself, which took place after the climactic laser strike, he said, "Everyone has 23 hours before the PISS DRRRROPLETSSS hit the Earth, and they have to get out of my sight, before I piss on them too."
Robotnik's announcement[edit | edit source]
I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his little, quilly hedgehog dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said, “That’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like: poompf! That’s right, baby! All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have 23 hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!
Source[edit | edit source]
- Alfred Coleman, "MY SUPER LASER PISS!!" Snapcube, April 20, 1969