UnNews:Democratic Party abolishes itself

Monday, April 21, 2025

Democratic Party, satisfied and abdicated

Pelosi describes the breast augmentation surgery she is planning for after her embalming

In a surprise move that has left many political pundits scratching their heads, the Democratic Party leadership has announced that they are stepping down and declaring the party's mission accomplished. This comes after their opponents, the rival crime syndicate "the Republican Party" captured all three branches of government and left insufficient spoils left in the game for the Democrats to be buvvered.

"It's not worth it anymore," said a spokesperson for the party. "Trump has beaten us. The game is over. Access to the trough belongs to them for the next generation"

“

Politics is exhausting. The constant ass kissing of the riffraff, the endless prayer breakfasts with the loonies and the constant whining of the wokies. Now that the Trumpies have so convincingly won the turf war I think it is time for us to rest on our laurels. We made hay when the sun shone. It doesn't anymore. Screw you guys, we're off to retirement in Dubai

”

— HRH Nancy Pelosi, Queen of the democratic party crime family, Interview with Fox news

The news has been met with mixed reactions. Some are praising the Democrats for their remarkable realism, while others are questioning whether the monopoly of a single crime family is really in the provinces best interest.

"It's hard to believe that they're actually giving up," said one Republican strategist. "It was so much fun kicking them while they were down."

The rewards of years of hard politicianing

But the Democrats insist that they are serious about their decision.

"We're not just going to sit around and collect a paycheck," said the spokesperson. "We're going to go out and find something else to do. Maybe we'll start a band or something. I hear Dubai is very nice for people with money and bad taste."

It remains to be seen what the future holds for the province of South Alberta, but for now, the Trumpies look unstoppable.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

The Democrats have some incredible men and women, believe me. Chuck Schumer is a great guy. They've made billions and billions of beautiful dollars. Tremendous and intelligent people. One of the greatest families around. We will miss them.^[1]

124 ReTruths 584 Likes 21 April 2025