UnNews:China bans the letter N
Asia's Socialist People's Republic prohibits the letter after M but before O
- Editorial Staff
- 2 March 2018
As part of a despotic blackout, leader Xi of Asia's Socialist People's Republic has prohibited the letter after M but before O. Critics of the move have asked, "Why commit such a foolish act, to prohibit that useful letter?"
To summarize the official reply, Leader Xi of the Middle Realm retorts: "I am Leader Xi, the topmost ruler, I will do whatsoever I please, you coquettish cavorters of the Red-White-Blue Dollar! Your fiber optics, your cables, all are the purview of my Committee of Public Safety! Bow before me, your Emperor!"
This move to prohibit the letter has made the lives of corporate groups much harder: for example, a huge Asiatic tech goliath from a close by archipelago is today called So_y, like the sauce. Pa_aso_ic has fared little better, as has _i_te_do, which releases games of all sorts. These corporate behemoths will thereafter face ridicule from their peers whose letters were luckily spared.
Texts as well as whole paragraphs thereafter may appear illogical as well as absurd to the populace after this alphabet edict, but Xi has assured his subjects that this decree is truly vital to perpetuate the fellowship of their Socialist society. This move follows yet more attempts by Xi to block web pages the State deems horrid: just as likely to perplex, Xi has also blocked images of the beloved childhood Pooh-Bear, supposedly due to the yellow bear's ties to some disrespectful memes.
Supporters of a free world wide web have decried this lexical blackout, but Xi's message Czars are deaf to their cries of speech rights. There is a rumored proposal to block the letter E also, but by that time we will all be fucked.
- Doug Criss "Leader Xi Prohibits This Specific Letter: Click Here to Discover Which!!!" Cable Report Repository, 3 March 2018