UnNews:CATS returns some of our bases

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30 September 2108

CATS: Ruthless supervillain or humanitarian with frat-guy hygiene?

IN A.D. 2108. It has been seven years since CATS seized all our bases, despite the valiant efforts of our Zig fighters. Today, however, CATS stunned the Alliance by announcing that several of these bases would be repatriated.

Let's have a look at the video feed.

CAPTAIN: WHAT HAPPENING GUYS?
OPERATOR: WE GET SIGNAL !
OPERATOR: MAIN SCREEN TURN ON.
CATS: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN !!
CATS: YOUR BASE WARE POORLY MAINTAINED.
CATS: KEEP UP COST WAS ROUGH VALUABLE.
CATS: YOUR DISHONORABLE JANITOR WE FORCED TO EXECUTING.
CATS: POLICY WAS AWRY. REGRET !!
CATS: RAT DROPPING IS EVERYPLACE !!
CATS: TOILET MADE BAD SMELL AIR !!
CATS: SOME YOUR BASE NOW AGAIN BELONG TO YOU.
CATS: HA HA HA HA....
OPERATOR: CAPTAIN !!
CAPTAIN: . . . .
OPERATOR: WE YET GET SIGNAL !
OPERATOR: MAIN SCREEN TURN ON.
CATS: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN !!
CATS: ONE THING OTHER.
CATS: YOU FINDING WHEN MY WALLET
CATS: PLEASE MAIL TO ME
CATS: HA HA HA HA....

Alliance spokesmen say they are happy about the return of their military bases, and intend to dispatch a large contingent of custodial staffers several weeks before the bases can be made operational again.

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