UnNews:A good strong talking to solves Middle East problems.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

7 January 2008

Principal: Boys you have both been very naughty. Do you know why I have brought you to my office?

USA: But.. but.. but he said he had a Nu.. nuclear enrichy-man plan-

Principal: No, I don't want to hear your excuses. Why have I brought you here?

USA: Dunno

Principal: What? Speak up.

USA: Dunno

Principal: Yes you do. Where's Iran?

USA: Dunno

Principal: Oh Iran! Stop taunting Israel and get over here!

Principal: So Iran, do you know why you're here?

Iran: Na-ah stupid infidel

USA: Ya-ah-

Principal: USA, stop trying to hit Iran. Now you both know why I brought you here.

USA: But he said he was makin' a Nuclear wor.. warhead. I don' want him to have one!!! North Korea got one and now he's gonna get one!! WAHHHH

Principal: Now, USA. Remember what happened between you and Iraq?

USA: Yeeeeh

Principal: He still beats you up, doesn't he?

USA: Yeah

Principal: We don't want that to happen again, do we?

Iran: Yeeeaaah

Principal: Don't pretend you're innocent, you've been mocking him for ages.

Iran: Na-ah

Principal: Yes. You've been trying to get Iraq to do your dirty work for you, haven't you?

Iran: But, but, but.

Principal: Do you even have any warheads?

Iran: Nah.. but Russia gave me something so I can make some.

Principal: Oh that Russia, he's been acting so high and mighty!

USA: He's also been real mean to me.

Principal: Not many kids seem to like you USA.

USA: Israel does.

Principal: That explains alot... Venezuela, stop making faces at USA.

Principal: Has Mrs. U.N done anything about this?

USA: Nah, she just sleeps all the time.

Principal: Ok.. um.. USA stop threatening Iran.

USA: stupid old man

Principal: Iran stop mocking USA

Iran: infidel dummy

Principal: And can someone please stop Israel hitting Palestine!

USA: Nah... they've been doing that for ages.