UnNews:"Think" Graffiti Artist Captured.
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
17 January 2007
 | This article may be Overly British |
LONDON, ENGLAND - The graffiti artist known until today only as "Thanksy", who for the last four years has been wanted for painting the word THINK in big yellow penis letters across roads around the UK, was finally arrested last last night. He is currently under questioning by the Metropolitan Police.
Robert Phillips of Bathgate, West Lothian, was apparently trying to paint the word THINK in big yellow letters across Downing Street before he was apprehended by a uniformed Metropolitan police officer. However, when apprehended, he had only painted the first four letters, so now the street reads "THIN". Traffic authorities report that CCTV cameras at the site have captured the faces of motorists sucking in their cheeks as they pass the spot, believing it to be an imperative statement. Rumour has it that officials are considering the use of the "Abbey Road" traffic statute to charge Phillips with misuse of a public thoroughfare.
Phillips was asked about the impulse behind repeating the same phrase in every instance of graffiti, with no explanation, nor artist interpretation, and no narrative development. "As with so many vandals, I attribute my actions to a complete failure of imagination."
"I would have written "Thanksy" but I forgot how to spell it. So I had it tattooed on me inner thigh. That way, if I forget again, I drop me trouser and have butcher's."
In addition to a large number of roads, Phillips has also tagged some areas which has been described as "unusual" by the Metropolitan Police. In the last four years, such places include the Silverstone race circuit and the end of the main runway at Heathrow Airport.