UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/TheTrueethEnding
You've been awarded the rank of "P"... unless you cheated. But if not, congratufuckinglations.
You really did it. You really did it. You made it to Ketchikan, and banished Luna to her shithole galaxy while you were at it, while during all of that in under fifteen minutes. Congratulations. You will have a first-class experience here in Ketchikan.
You've quickly picked up a career in the lumber industry, so you're busy as a beaver. Nobody in Ketchikan believes your stories, although the Ketchikan police force has made the Aracuan invasion of the city public... those pesky fowl were exterminated within a couple of days.
With your quick arrival at making it to Ketchikan, you are awarded as the fastest man in the world. You have received a paycheck of 100,000 dollarydoos, and have bought a very expensive house here in downtown. Which is a wooden shack. Even Dave from Juneau comes to visit sometimes, and OPOSSUMs continue to follow you around.
Goodbye, John. And remember, praise the Great God Mokkáawŝen and Oscar Wilde.
And now, for you... go to bed.
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