UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/KetchiCAN'T

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960px-Prince_of_Wales_Island_%2810931852824%29.jpgYou celebrate how close you've gotten by Ketchikan by:

  1. Starting a giantbonfire on the island with your moccasin powers, which is quickly put out by a storm.
  2. Alerting everyone nearby about your celebration, although there is absolutely nobody around to join you.
  3. Dancing awkwardly.
  4. Singing a song about Ketchikan (you made the lyrics up as you went!)

KETCHIKAN! GET THERE, MAN! GONNA GET TO THE

KETCHIKAN, GET THERE, MAN! BOUT TO BE IN THE

KETCHIKAN, FUCK IT, MAN! BETTER MAKE IT TO

KETCHIKAN, DOOT DA-DO! GOD, THIS SHIT HURTS!


WHEN I'M IN, KETCHIKAN, IMMA KILL MYSELF

NO MORE WAYS, NO MORE WAYS, I CAN THRILL MYSELF

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUESS I WON'T, FUCKING KILL MYSELF

MAYBE I'LL, DINGADING, DOOPY DOO YAH


KETCHIKETCHIKAN, FUCK IT MAN, I'M ABOUT TO GET TO

KETCHIKAN! IT'S A KETCH-I-KAN, BABY

KETCHIKETCHIKAN, KETCHIKETCHIKETCHI

KETCHIKAN, IMMA FUCK YO BITCHES IN THE


KETCHIFUCKINGKAN, KETCHIKAN, LOTSA SALMON IN THE

KETCHIKAN, WELL I GUESS, THEY, SAY THAT ABOUT

KETCHIKETCHI-FUCK! I JUST STUBBED MY TOE

OW YOW YOW YOW YOW, AND-A NOW, I'M GONNA SAY

FUUUUUUUUCK! MY TOE HUUUUUUUURTS! PLEASE! GOD, MAKE IT STOP! IT'S GONNA FUCKING POP, OH

AAAAAAAAAAAGH! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP! OH GODDAMN NOT AGAIN, I HATE THIS FUCKING PAIN IT FUCKING

SUCKS..... IT FUC-KING

SUCKS..... IT HURTS SO

MUCH..... IT HURTS SO

MUCH..... MAKE IT TO

KETCHI-*thud*

Your horrible song has attacted bears, grues, and wolves from all over the island. Not only are they super hungry, but they hate your singing, and they all know what the most effective way to stop you from singing is.


𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕕

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