UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/GrabRJN
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You couldn't resist, could you? Your greed consumed you, and you felt the need to take the most pointless artifact ever created. And in doing so, you've gained an unstoppable obsession with stealing other people's valuables. So you do that for a couple of days before the Prince Rupert police force capture you and shoot you to death.
Somehow, through all of this, you can hear your fancy new artifact... laughing?
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