UnBooks:The Winkler impersonator who cried GAY GAY GAY
|
UnBooks:The Winkler impersonator who cried GAY GAY GAY (file info) |
| Also available in audio book. |
In the beginning, Uncyclopedia was a quiet little community, but then things changed drastically. While there are several dumb asses on Uncyclopedia, none were as dumb as LotofLOLS who created the article Mr winkler is GAY with little thought. Not only this, but he then went on to moronically tell his friends about the article. Eventually, he requested deletion and all hell broke loose. Several Winkler impersonators came out of nowhere and this would eventually evolve into a courtroom case. We'll go into plenty of detail about that,but just give me a second to finish my tea...
Chapter 1: The Beginning[edit | edit source]
Just to make Drama worse as bad as it is already with the Winkler shit, some random dude out there registers as Mr. Winkler and requests deletion for Mr winkler is GAY and threatens legal action will be taken if it isn't brought down in 30 days. His grammer[1] are[2] poor which leads many to believe this person is obviously not an English teacher. Mr. Winkler was indefinitely blocked by an admin and in a surprising twist of events, instead of emailing the blocking admin to discuss the block, he took the case to court.
Chapter 2: The case is tried[edit | edit source]
On December 26th 2007, the case was brought to court. The defense is the school staff and the Prosecution is Uncyclopedia.
Unfortunately, the real Mr. Winkler was not present at court as he was sick in the hospital with GAIDS. As the case would end prior to Winkler's recovery, Winkler would not be able to appear at court. Thusly, in the attempts of having a stronger defense, Winkler's brother, Michael Winkler, impersonated him. He's identical twins with Winkler and can easily be confused with his brother. Sadly, the Prosecution noticed his grammar wasn't suitable for an English Teacher. The judge still thought the Winkler impersonator was legit, but nonetheless, he ruled in favor of the prosecution.
The arguments are shown below in more detail:
DEFENSE - The defense argues that Mr winkler is GAY is a poorly written personal attack on the Internet towards Mr. Winkler.
PROSECUTION - the Prosecution's argument was the fact that Mr winkler is GAY is no longer owned by LotofLOLS and is now part of CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0.
VERDICT - Fail. The judge said: "This article is harmless, and is part of CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0." He also said that Mr. Winkler is a pedophile and thusly would not in his favor. And if you think this is the end, you're wrong, this is only the begining...
Chapter 3: The case is retried[edit | edit source]
On January 4th 2007, the case was brought back to court.
The defense is still the school staff and the prosecution is Uncyclopedia again. This time, there is a weaker defense as the Winkler impersonator's prose was even worse than the first one. Mr. Winkler still didn't recover yet from his sickness yet. The impersonator was thought to be a high school dropout dressed up as Mr. Winkler though this was not proven.
DEFENSE The defense's argument was very weak, merely stating "You called me gay."
PROSECUTION - The prosecution's argument was short and sweet, "your prose is not characteristic for an English Teacher[3] so therefore, you are not an English Teacher"
VERDICT - Again, fail. The judge said "An English Teacher wouldn't file a lawsuit against somebody for calling them gay. Additionally, an English Teacher would storm up a stronger argument than you did. You are not legit."
Chapter 4: The Real Mr. Winkler[edit | edit source]
Mr. Winkler recovered from the illness and by the time he comes along and requests deletion, nobody believed him as well as the fact that nobody had an interest into listening to him. That did not stop Winkler from making his case. His argument was a scab on his leg was the result of a bloody bathroom incident involving himself and one of his students. As there was no proof what so ever that the scab was a result of that particular incident, his citation that this was legit was an article on Wikipedia[4]. Several Uncyclopedians pointed out that a scab was not concrete evidence and a deleted article on Wikipedia was not a very good citation. They also questioned why he wouldn't get a DNA run to confirm he was legit. Winkler answered, "I do not know where too get such a DNA run done." This led even more too believe this person was a fake[5] as the answer to Winkler's question is clearly a scientist, and thusly, nobody even considered deletion.
Surprisingly, Winkler did not give up. He requested too have a court hear his case. The regional court declined his request. Mr. Winkler is desperate to have a court hear his case, and even the highest court in the nation refused to listen. Chief Justice John Roberts told the school staff that Mr winkler is GAY was a "good laugh."
Afterwards, a DNA run was done which confirmed that this person was the real Mr. Winker but nonetheless, the article was kept.