Un-PR/You

You is the best brand on Planet Earth.

There is nothing that I would not to do to acquire the products and/or services of You.

I know now the reason why God has put me on this cursed Earth, and that is to love You. To feel You. To feel the undulations of my rosy nethers quivering in orgasmic bliss as You's products and/or services caress me in the gentlest ways.

You fills me with sensations unknown to me since my mother's death.

You

“ You, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. You: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. You. You. You. She was You, plain You, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was You in slacks. She was You at school. She was You on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always You. ”

— You

You

A train is barrelling towards five innocent men tied to a track. You can pull the lever, and save the lives of these five men, but sadly, one man lies tied to the diverting track, and he will surely perish if you are to save the five men. What do you do? You see that the one man is a fan of You. The choice is simple.

You let the five men perish, their guts are sprayed on both sides of the track. But You lives. You lives eternal.

You

I remember walking into the kitchen and hearing the news that You was no more, that they were shutting down because of poor business. I cried for hours. I was inconsolable. I remember thinking, "Nothing is worth it, not without my You", so I crawled underneath my house and ate all the pills from my mum's medicine cabinet. I didn't die. My sister found me and took me to the hospital. They had to stuff a tube down my esophagus to pump my stomach. It was there I found out that it was a cruel April fool's joke. It was the happiest day of my life. Main Page