Template:Retired User
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Retired User is no longer an Uncyclopedia active user :-(
They officially announced their retirement on {{{date}}}, to an audience of 1.348654. It is amazing to think that Retired User wasted {{{years}}} years on Uncyclopedia! Retired User will now be released back into the community and do normal people things. However, there is a possibility that Retired User will be a Brett Favre and attempt a comeback. But if you miss them, you could always grovel and plead with them.