Talk:Science Fiction

Where did H. G. "Da Pimp" Wells go? DO not forget poor Jules Verne

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR A DIE HARD SCI-FI GEEK?

1. Obviously you have a collection of every episode of TV shows taped, that are set in space, and every movie you own starts with the word "Star" in the title of it.
2. You can name every character, episode, director, and producer, right down to the dolly grip of all your geeky movies.
3. You've taken the step of naming your pet just that one step too far; it's ok to name it Mr Spock or Chewy, but calling out to your pet named "Death Star" is going a little beyond obsessiveness.
4. You're not only the first to line up weeks in advance for the first screening of the latest Star Wars installment; You're also the first person to line up for weeks out the front of the Lucas Ranch to inform him of all the flaws you found with the movie.
5. You get online to argue weather Captain Kirk could kick Captain Picard's ass in a game of dungeons and dragons.
6. Your ideal date is not to actually meet one of the femminoids off your favorite TV show, but to create one in your own laboratory like your hero, MacGyver.
7. When you're in chat rooms, you only have cyber-sex with 3-breasted Ewok's.
8. According to your calculations, a Stargate is not theoretically possible; however, you have no problem with the fact that many of your favorite movies involve spaceships traveling faster then the speed of light.
9. Instead of pinup models on your wall, you have a picture of George Lucas, and 1001 reasons why Star Trek does not compare to Star Wars. Or Vice-Versa.
10. You have written a movie script for a 50 hour movie that you have written to combine Star Wars, Star Trek, Star Gate, 2001 space odyssey, Babylon 5, Dr. Who, Battle-star Galactica, and every other movie with a sci-fi theme; all wrapped up into one movie, and not only have you combined all themes, you have brought back every single character you know of, requiring a cast of over a billion, but you figure that ILM would put that many un-needed CGI-SFX into a new age, over rated, CGI, crappy movie anyway.
11. You completely understand the Matrix movies plots, and enjoyed the films.
12. You get funny looks when you're on websites devoted to pictures of gay storm troopers, lesbian Wookies & horny droids; or you prefer cartoon/CGI characters over the real thing.
13. You cannot get off with another person unless they are telling you to use the force.
14. You draw and design spaceships, and you always have secret sex compartments hidden into them! As if you would ever have anyone in them but yourself if you could build it.
15. You always feel superior to people who haven't seen episode 74 of Deep Space 9, yet you forget its usually the dumb guy who doesn't know anything about science who saves the brainiacs in every sci-fi movie.
16. You don't just go to dress up parties or conventions dressed as your favorite sci-fi character & re-in-act scenes, but you film it, and broadcast it on the net hoping George Lucas will see it and put you in his next movie.
17. You take high offense to people confusing the words "Trek" and "Wars".
18. You burn all your meals because you keep mistakenly putting in co-ordinance numbers into the microwave instead of actual earth time.
19. You believe that on the 7th day George Lucas created man.
20. You can actually explain why mainframes don't relatively exist.
21. You think it will impress chicks to tell them your working on a non cryogenically data-base analysis system 5.1, with the 155 megabytes of extra ram to co-ordinate the perfect resolution and pixel state to generate the 1.21 gig watts of thorpedionixiode needed to pull the gravitational pull of the atmospheric rate. Then carry the one to make it into a thermos nutrient capable of sending out proton torpedoes over a radius of ninety one point five seven disciples in 3 milliseconds to move the bishop to the left.... checkmate
22. You have already worked out exactly in every detail how the last sentence above is not logical, and where it went wrong.
23. You refer to anything evil as "the dark side"
24. You're able to convince your dressed up as Princess Layer hooker, that your premature ejaculation is not embarrassing, because on planet Krypton you would have lasted .848085th of a second longer then the record holder of the man who has held out for the longest before cumming...sniff.
25. You don't masturbate because you feel all your semen might be beamed up a-board a mother ship and used to create clones to attack earth with.
26. You have a website devoted to every Star Wars merchandise or reference that has ever been mentioned or shown on a TV series and movie.
27. You refer to you penis as a phazer gun.
28. you play drinking games where you drink a shot of lemonade to every time you hear the number to the equation you just gave in the language of Klinggonion.
29. you host dungeons and dragons meetings in your parents basement.
30. you think you're superior because I haven't spelled names of things (or people or ships, devices, props, or something that was probably made by sticking a flash light behind a shoe box painted black with holes punched in it) here correctly.
31. Your ideal woman is the body of princess Leah, the face of Samantha Carter, and the legs of a Darleck.

---Maniac1075^{Complain Here} 13:52, May 6, 2010 (UTC)