Talk:Monkey

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The contents of Monkeys were merged into Monkey and they now redirect here. For the contribution history and old versions of the merged article please see its history.

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Planet of the Apes

Anybody wanna upload some funny shot from "Planet of the Apes"? Nerd42 16:29, 18 Oct 2005 (UTC)

elect

I nomiate this article for feture article. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Rockaroundtheworld (talk • contribs)

...no not really. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Gods pissed (talk • contribs)

I lauged so bad when i read the very first sentence ^^

Locked?

Why is this page locked against editing? 84.86.218.144 13:15, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

wikipedia hates us!!! D:

why locked

why the heck is this page locked? Ldude893 04:44, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Stupid people like to write un-funny stuff about monkeys. I guess. -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 04:47, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Someone wrote the truth: monkeys include Africans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Native Americans, Asians, Japanese, Indians, Arabs, Italians, the Irish and the French. I'm sorry but it's the truth. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 71.102.36.5 (talk • contribs)

You think I don't know that already? God made man. And he used a monkey to do it. -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 02:00, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Jews are in the highest order of humans, and so are the Chinese. Sorry about that, these two are higher than the United Statesian subspecies known as homo americanus yankius known to be a very fat, very dumb and very happy breed.

P.S. Don't buy into bogus crap theories about evolution on the Uncyclopedia web site. + PotatoSmut 03:07, November 7, 2009 (UTC)

OK, so how does anyone add to the article?

I have it on Good Authority that the Johnny Weissmuller film was in fact called Tarzan Reveals His Ninjas.

It was a 30 second short that was never released since it was considered too violent (in the light of the then upcoming black comedy World War II: This Time It's Prussianal this may have been an over-reaction), and because of sexual content thought unlikely to improve box office takings.

In the short, Tarzan (Weissmuller) adopts the thinker's pose by placing one foot on an orange crate he happened to have positioned conveniently in his tree house. This action had the effect of revealing his ninjas to a startled Cheetah (originally played by Charlton Heston) who responded appropriately with a behavior that researchers have since characterized as going "ape-shit with a baseball bat".

In an interview after filming was abandoned, Cheetah (Heston) explained that he thought he could see a snake riding a Segway, and knowing the dangers of being struck by a Segway he felt that it was his responsibility to protect Tarzan for Prosperity (Tarzan's wife before he married Jane). When pressed, Heston admitted that he didn't really know what a Segway was but he thought that it was probably Mexican.

A number of studios have since expressed interest in resurrecting the short, although the sound quality is so distorted due to the volume of screaming by both Tarzan and Cheetah that it is felt the only way to stay true to the original is to stage a re-enactment. Neither Weissmuller nor Heston were available for comment, apparently because they are both dead. Batshitinsane 19:39, September 14, 2010 (UTC)