Symonds Yat
Symonds Yat is a two-hundred year-old yat in the Wye Valley and a popular tourist destination, straddling the River Wye in the English county of Herefordshire, close to the Gloucestershire border. It is within shouting distance of Monmouthshire and the Welsh border, and, as of 2023, is the only yat within a radius of 12,436 miles.
Etymology[edit | edit source]
- Symonds Yat from C14 English; "Symond's Yat": The yat belonging to Symond.
- Yat from C18 English; containing the properties of a yat, resembling a yat, or being predominantly yat-like.
History[edit | edit source]
Following Captain James Cook's return from the discovery of Australia in 1812, tales of the former existence of prehistoric yats began to circulate in England. The exotic and unearthly nature of yats (as relayed by the recorded dreams of the Australoid Aborigines) led to "the Great Yat-Mania", inspiring towns throughout Great Britain to vie to outdo each other in creating ever-more elaborate yats.
Escalating tensions between localities, each claiming to have the best yat, intensified until the "Great Yat Duff-Up" in 1813, when a group of burly glass-blowers from St Helens Yat raided the Smethwick Yat, bent all the road-signs so they pointed to the local abattoir, and gave the local yat-men dead-arms, right on the BBC. To prevent such a recurrence from ever happening again, Queen Victoria announced there would be an official nationwide competition to find and name the Greatest Yat in the English Kingdom. Symonds Yat won the competition hands down, largely based on its sincerity, undefinable yat-ness, and proximity to the future M50 Motorway. Over the next decade, many yats fell out of fashion and closed down, leaving Symonds Yat as the only functional yat in all Britain.
Features[edit | edit source]
Symonds Yat sets the global standard for yats worldwide:
- Typical London charges for parking
- Highest-density UK-Wide for rusty abandoned canoe-trailers shoved into bushes
- More "No Swimming!", "No Barbecues!", "No U-Turns!", "Private property!", and "No Parking!" signs even than Henley during the regatta
- East and West semi-yats (of opposite handedness)
- Has a rock