Supposably

Supposably is a word in the American language that is often wrongly confused with supposedly. Although the vast majority of people who use supposably mistake it as a substitute for supposedly, it does actually have a valid use. The general rule is this: Supposably can be used only when the meaning is "capable of being supposed", and then only in the U.S.

Supposably is mostly used in the incorrect context, as in this example:

• "She was supposably going out to the windswept steppes with her friends, but she's really cheating on me."

Supposably is often used in concert with exspecially, which often replaces especially. When the two are used together, the result is grating and causes great irritation to listeners who use correct grammar.

• "I'm exspecially pissed that she supposably went out with her friends when she's really cheating on me."

These are also used in conjunction with burglarized, a word invented by people frustrated with the concision of burgled.

• "My heart feels exspecially burglarized after she supposably went out with her friends when she's really cheating on me."

Another of these invented words is irregardless, which people tend to say when actually meaning "regardless".

• "My heart feels exspecially burglarized after she supposably went out with her friends. Irregardless of what she says, I know she's really cheating on me."

Since the ir and the less are negatives, and we know that two negatives make a positive, "irregardless" really means "with regard to ..."

No sentence composed entirely of such vocabules has yet been concocted. Nevertheless it is safe to assume that, when this feat is accomplished, the staunch adherents of correct grammar will finally have been incited to rise up in defense of the Queen's English and destroy the ignorant masses, thence a paradise of pedantry.