User:PirateFaafy/Prince of waffles
 | Some say that parts of this article have been Sterrenced from Nobody Cares. We don't believe them. |
“WTQ?!?!”
“It makes good money.”
“Waffles are God *__*”
“Wait, did you just quote my favourite little town in Italy?”
“I SAW YOU IN THE MATH EXAM....STERRENCE!”
“JOO PRARBLABLY DEED”
“There are more waffle people than me? OH MY GOD!”
The Prince of Waffles is an insane historical figure to whom many accomplishments have been incorrectly accredited, including the invention of Pop-Tarts and the number 42. Recently, he was also credited with the discovery of the United States of Bulimia, the Heimlich manoeuvre, and the word manoeuvre.
Waffle Kingdom[edit | edit source]
The Prince of Waffles, or Jesus, as he is formally called, is the current heir of the Waffle Kingdom. The kingdom was once at war with the Pancake Empire, but declared a truce after two minutes (no one was really in the mood), instead pursuing a mutual assault against the Dictatorship known as MSN or M. Satan North.
Pancake Empire[edit | edit source]
The Pancake Empire, once rejected by the Waffles for not being toaster-compatible, are now allied with them in a effort to thwart MSN and its heir, the criminally bland Windows Messenger. So far the war has been largely ineffective (This may be due to the Prince's benzocaine plantation). However, steps are being taken to ensure that never again will such a joyless and counter-productive villain be allowed to exist.
The Prince's Role in it all[edit | edit source]
As of the year 2006, Prince Jesus, who is also the self-appointed King Of Tenure, has been overseeing trades between the two nations, mostly of maple syrup and tacos. Other that that, nothing much is known about the Prince's duties. It has recently been discovered that the Prince does, in fact have tenure over something besides the word Sterrence: Christmas. And your favourite little town in Italy.
The Back Story[edit | edit source]
The Prince of Waffles was born Sterrencetyfive years ago, under the name of Grue. It was then changed to Jesus due to legal binding documents stating that Crloline, Duchess of Pancakes, has played tic-tac-toe against a Grue. The CanadaWaffle Kingdom is in a heated battle with the Grues, but one Grue is on the side of the POW. His name is Domo-Kun. He has p'owned your favourite little town in Italy in Halo, but has been known to be a spawn-killer. Sterrence is also in the war, however, he stays behind with POW as a strategist. POW often goes out into battle armed with his infamous Sash of Waffles and Staff of Syrupy Goodness while shouting his infamous battle cry: "PLEASE SHUT THE DOOR!". Domo-Kun, alongside POW and Chives On Top Of Me, goes into battle as well. Unfortunately, the wars still rage, and you were blown up by a Prinny, but Nobody Cares. Domo-Kun is a Lv.45 Pikachu, POW is a Black Mage, and Chives On Top Of Me is a Mesmer.
Other Incorrectly Accredited Accomplishments[edit | edit source]
Accomplishments He Did Not Make, But Were Credited To Him[edit | edit source]
Microwave ovens, The Dewey Decimal System, Ivory Soap, Ebony Soap, Waffles, Syrup, Uncyclopedia, Litchi Berries, Litchi Pies, Independence Day (Movie), Independence Day (Day), Independence Day (Boston Pizza 2-4-1 Special), Germans, I'm a Barbie Girl (Song), I'm a Barbie Girl In German, Your Mom.
Accomplishments He Did Make, But Were Not Credited To Him[edit | edit source]
Incandescent Soups, Tim Hortons, Grues, Eurgs, Wiktionary, Several annoying children's shows, Germany, Aunt Jemima's Syrup, Yogurt, Yoghurt, Undeniable Proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is, in fact, a Jew, Treri Dixxon, Tech Support that gives good help and doesn't take 3 days to talk to an actual human being (Extinct), Democracy, Oompa Loompas, Vegetables, Being funny and not just stupid.
Accomplishments He Did Not Make, And Were Not Credited To Him[edit | edit source]
Ottomans, Dickies, Charlestons, Smiths, Zavislaks, Nazis, You, Me, Commas, CAPITAL LETTERS, Exclamation Points!!.
Contact Information[edit | edit source]
You're on benzocaine. Thanks for buying! If you have any questions or complaints, please call 1-800-Nobody Cares. If our receptionist, Jenny Craig, is unavailable, please try again in 5 or 10 minutes. She's usually done Kitten Huffing by then.