Shit Hits The Fan

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Shit Hits The Fan is an interpretive performance piece produced by an anonymous director. It is one of the most often performed theatrical pieces in the world, and has had a number of interpretations attributed to it. Shit Hits The Fan can be altered to encompass everything from small scale performances, to performances on the global stage. There are two main roles in the play, those of the shit and the fan, and can be acted out in numerous styles, depending on the overall mood of the piece.

Plot[edit | edit source]

The shit, about to hit the fan.

The main plot focuses upon the complex relationship between the shit and the fan, before culminating in the ultimate physical confrontation between the two and the immediate aftermath. In some cases, the shit can hit the fan several times after the original contact between the two, building the drama and adding to the eventual aftermath. In most performances once the shit has hit the fan there are far ranging consequences. The shit will normally break down in a cacophony of unpleasantness as the audience comprehends just what the shit hitting the fan means, and how the situation impacts upon them. The beauty in the play is in the method of the shit hitting the fan, with no two directors ever using the same way. Despite this, the consequences are similar in one key aspect - the shit has hit the fan.

The Shit and The Fan[edit | edit source]

The interpretation of the shit and fan in the piece have troubled philosophers for centuries. Perhaps Descartes said it best when he proclaimed "I shit, therefore I need a fan". The shit therefore is a representation of not just human life, but all life. All organisms make waste, and thus we are all symoblised by shit. Human emotions are easily flung apart by tubulence, as is the shit. So why a fan? Why not a fan? Fans are cold and mechanical, exerting their dominance over the natural order of things. The fan therefore represents hardship and adversity, a cold indifference willing to tear the human form apart. If we go back to Descarte's words then, it is clear that he realises that all life needs challenges, for without challenge and adversity one is not truly living.

Making Shit Hit The Fan[edit | edit source]

As stated before, no shit ever hits the fan in exactly the same way, making shit hit the fan is an art in itself. Some of the greatest minds in human history have come up with their own ways of getting the shit to hit the fan. As an interpretive piece, the importance is not that it does hit it, but in fact how it hits it.

Oscar Wilde[edit | edit source]

One of the greatest playwrights in the world, Wilde made the shit hit the fan in spectacular style. By trying to deny his feelings he denied his humanity, which then promptly left to hit the nearest fan.

Richard Nixon[edit | edit source]

The poster for George W. Bush's production. Unseen: fans.

Nixon's production revealed what happens when we do not express our emotions out in the open. By trying to conceal them the ultimate consequences of the shit hitting the fan were much greater.

Bill Clinton[edit | edit source]

Bill's not only got into shit though his amorous escapades, but then promptly added to it by denying it, swamping the fan when it finally, and inevitably struck. The moral being that the more we let our emotions run free, the more shit ultimately hits the fan.

George W. Bush[edit | edit source]

A truly magnificent example of shit hitting the fan, George did not just settle for one fan, but poured it onto every fan in Iraq. The message here being that if we have too many emotions and not enough control over them, we are more than capable of running into hardships (fans) we did not anticipate.

Russell Crowe[edit | edit source]

As above, this shit has hit many fans, however in this case there seems to be no apparent reason behind it. The moral of this piece is that if you are shitty enough, you can't refrain from hitting fans.

After The Shit Has Hit The Fan[edit | edit source]

As seen above, some of the greatest contributors to the shit hitting the fan scene are American Presidents, most obviously because the aftermath of the shit hitting the fan is much greater. The consequences of the shit hitting the fan are important, as they help put the piece into perspective. A shit hitting a fan without many consequences will lack any real meaning, yet a shit hitting a fan with too many consequences will lose the audience unless done correctly. Bush's performance is a spectacular example of a piece with lots of consequences, however the whole piece works together to remind the viewer that THE SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN.

Alternative Performances[edit | edit source]

Shit Hits Iran[edit | edit source]

This piece is currently in planning for an as of yet unscheduled release date. It is anticipated to be a blockbuster event with huge explosions and plenty of shit going Iran's way. The piece is part of the global production "leave the Middle East up shit creek without a paddle".

Shit Hits A Man[edit | edit source]

An Internet performance rapidly gaining popularity the world over, revealing what happens when our feelings come back to hit us right in the face, particularly amorous feelings for fecal matter. Although banned in certain Arab countries, this has only added to the mystique of the piece, which has become huge in Japan.