View source for Sexual harassment

{{Offensive}}
{{POV}}
[[File:Leia.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Look, you don't ''have'' to come in [[Monday]] dressed like this.  I respect your decision.  I'm just saying it will make that promotion move a lot faster.]]

'''Sexual harassment''' (''HAIR-iss-mint'') is harassment or unwelcome [[army|attention]] of a [[sex|sexual]] nature.  It includes a range of behavior from mild [[wrong|transgressions]] and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity -- but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit?  [[Breast|Jiggle]] for me, [[baby]].  Yeah.  Yeah, that's great.

==Statistics==
[[HowTo:Make Up Statistics|80 percent of men]] are drawn to your [[tits]], but I'm an [[ass]] man, and honest to [[God]], I think [[Michelangelo]] sculpted your rear end.  [[Viagra|90]] percent of [[me]] wants to [[lie]] [[down]] on that back porch [[right]] here, right now.  [[Man]], if these walls weren't [[glass]], I'd have to chain myself to the [[chair|desk]].  Oh, come on.  Don't get so [[Catholic|uptight]], [[bee|honey]]. My [[dog|bark's]] a lot worse than my [[mouth|bite]].  But don't take my [[word]] for it.  If you catch my [[wood|drift]].

==Range of patterns and behaviors==
[[File:Bitchy1.jpg|120px|thumb|Betty got an MBA from the University of [[Pennsylvania]].  Naturally, she needed a good deep-dicking.]]
So [[we]] were at [[bar|Torchman's]] the other [[night]] -- me, [[Bill]], [[Ireland|Sean]] and Steve from [[car|sales]].  Well, lo and behold, some of those [[slut|sluts]] from the fifth floor come in and unfold those loooong [[leg|legs]] at the table next to ours.  Betty and Janine both had [[fuck]]-me shirts on, and I figured it was [[time]] to start my [[oil]]-drilling in the state of Betty -- are you getting all this [[down]], Kate?  Good.  I always tell this story to the [[college|skinterns]].  Anyway, I slap Bill on the shoulder, tell him he's my [[wingman]], and we get up and [[walk]] over to Betty and Janine, whose [[clothes]] are basically off at this point.  Long [[story]] short, Bill chats up Janine and I make up a [[bullshit]] story for Betty about how I've started to rethink my [[life]], how I'm getting [[monk|lonely]] etc., etc.  Betty, being the dumb [[ho]] she is, eats it up, we go back to my place and dismount maybe [[six]] hours later.  Goddamn, no wonder she's a supervisor -- not much up there, but she's [[money]] in the [[sleep|sack]]. That's a [[job|career]] tip, Kate.

==Hostile environment==
[[Eye|Look]], we've got a [[Paris Hilton|loose]], [[joke|joking]] [[office]].  The [[humor]] gets a little ribald, but the [[women|chicks]] like it as much as the [[dick|dicks]].  Samantha Canty is [[bone|boning]] or wants to bone all the guys here, and we're all [[cool]] with it.  She signs letters with the "No [[underwear|Panties]] Canty" nickname, so loosen two or three buttons and unwind.  After I finish this shoulder-rub, I'll forward you a hilarious [[e-mail]] Sean sent me this [[morning]]: This [[Asia|Asian]] porn star sticks a -- well, I won't [[Rome|ruin]] it for you.  But it's fucking great.

[[File:Barista.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Just expressing myself, sweety.]]
==Here's what I look like naked==
I can break [[nut|walnuts]] with my abs [[right]] now.  And I've been [[exercise|deadlifting]] about 350 pounds in the gym -- I can move in ways I couldn't when I was [[HowTo:Be a Douchebag|20]].  I just figured it was [[time]] to get a [[body]] that matched my package.  That's what you [[girl|girls]] like, right?  Oh, [[stop]].  You're ready to rip your [[shirt]] off whenever Alan walks through.  Don't [[Richard Nixon|deny]] it.  You'd leave the door open for him if you had the [[chance]].  It's how we all [[brain|think]]; we're just sexual [[human|beings]], you know?  Nothing [[dirt|dirty]] about it.  

This next [[photo]] shows me [[masturbate|masturbating]] into a bottle of mouthwash.

==Retaliation and backlash==
Whoa, don't get all [[crazy]]!  [[Yes|OK]], you're [[new]] here, so maybe you [[George W. Bush|misunderstood]].  No need to bring the [[lawyer|lawyers]] into this.  We're guys.  We think with our [[penis|penises]] -- it's just the way of [[nature]], OK?  And frankly, we've got a lot of [[sex|attractive]] women here.  I could treat you like [[Jabba the Hutt|Linda the Hutt]] at the reception desk, but you ladies like all the attention and flirting, what with your gossip and that short [[black]] [[number]] you're wearing.  You [[George W. Bush|misinterpreted]] what happened in the [[office|Xerox]] room.  [[Penis|It's]] got a mind of its own.  If it rises to attention, consider it a [[army|salute]].

==See also==
*[[Jeffrey Epstein]]
*[[Harvey Weinstein]]
*[[Bill Clinton]]
*[[Donald Trump]]
*[[Joe Biden]]

{{Crime}}
[[Category:Business]]
[[Category:Not safe for work]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Sexual harassment|*]]
[[Category:FA Crime]]
[[Category:FA Sex]]
[[Category:FA Women's issues]]
[[Category:FA Work]]
{{FA|date=14 June 2011|revision=5157886}}