Rotifer

A rotifer is a kind of English traffic policeman.

English Police

This is an official Englishman with a stuffed yak on his head. He may be some kind of a booby, or he may just be crazy. We are not sure.

England has more species of police than any other country. Some English policemen are kind of silly and they are called boobies. Some of the policemen ride horses and so they are called mounties, while others use dogs. They must use very big dogs or else their feet drag on the ground. If that happens then they are called dragoons.

Nobody wants to be a dragoon. Their shoes wear out too fast.

All the species of policemen in England are legally protected by laws that protect them. They don't carry guns; instead they have the Magnum Carta, a kind of large-caliber wheelbarrow. A man named Cromwell made it, but then in 1658 he died. Three years later he got his head chopped off and after that he didn't invent any more inventions for policemen to use.

English Traffic

In America where roads come together and a lot of cars get there all at once everyone has to stop and think what to do. This is called an introspection. It is here that we find the traffic light. In the modern instrospection the traffic lights turn red and green, but sometimes in England the policemen do that instead.

You see, unlike Americans and Australians, English people have history. Because they have history they often like to do things in an old-fashioned retro way. So instead of introspections they sometimes use retrospections, and here they are loathed to put modern things like electric lights.

It spoils the ambivalence.

The Job of the Rotifer

An English rotifer in action. Only the finest English boobies can become rotifers.

In traffic as in mathematics converging lines always meet, so if two cars follow converging lines then they will meet. Fenders may be bended, and sometimes the airbags deploy and small children or other groceries are damaged. It is the job of the rotifer to stand at a traffic retrospection and cause the converging lines of cars not to meet. For this thankless task the rotifer earns the heartfelt thanks of English motorists and other foreigners.

The policeman who has the job of dissecting traffic stands in the middle of a retrospection and produces movements. These movements should be unobstructed and have the purpose of making motorists stop and go. The officer must turn about quickly when cars pass in order to dissect oncoming cars from another direction, and this ability of rotation is the thing that makes a policeman a good rotating officer, or rotifer.

If a rotifer gets sick easy then he will throw up from rotating so much. Vomiting is not the right thing for a rotifer to do, because many motorists do not know whether to stop or go when someone vomits.

The same thing happens if he has a yak on his head, and the yak gets dizzy. Except yak vomit is worse.