Rhea (bird)

The Rhea is the little brother of the much larger Ostrich. It thinks it's a tough guy, but all it takes to win a fight against one is to continuously slap a lid against it's head until it gets amnesia and forgets what it even is. Rhea meat is eaten in South America, which may be contributing to their declining IQ levels.

If placed into water, the rhea will dissolve, and within 2 days, you will have evolved your rhea into a far superior Ostrich.

Look at these idiots.

Description

“That's a small fucken ostrich”

~ A South American man a few thousand years ago upon seeing a rhea for the first time.

The Rhea is an ostrich compressed into a .zip file. Just like it's equally-aggressive larger brother, it cannot fly. It's brain has already been too damaged by the lid that it forgot how to fly. It's a skinny bird, which is the complete opposite of most Uncyclopedia Wikipedia editors. Also like Wikipedia editors, Rheas only have three toes. The Rhea lays eggs that are piss yellow. Perhaps rhea eggs can be the new TikTok food trend taking the internet by storm.

Flocks of rhea are notorious for littering and leaving their shit everywhere. A fan favourite on the NYC Subway, Rhea will usually preform for the tram car. Rhea usually preform juggling, as it's the only skill they learned in Clown School.

Habitat

Me running away from you after I hear your bullshit take.

Every rhea lives in either South America or in the Arctic. Finding a Rhea in the Arctic is way more common than you would think. A master in survival, the Rhea will vibrate violently in cold situations to generate heat.

Uses

A rhea makes for an amazing pet, simply because it's a very small, and a very manageable animal. Rheas can understand English and Arabic, and as a result, you don't even have to train it to do cool tricks.

It will, however, shit in your toilets and ask you to wipe it.