Quantum entanglement

Quantum entanglement is a common but often misunderstood phenomenon that involves large balls of yarn and kittens. It is the bane of old ladies everywhere. It is known to be the cause of the Quantum Teleportation of socks from washing machines and dryers. Scientists are currently studying Quantum Entanglement in an attempt to conserve our matching sock supply.

How Quantum Entanglement Works

A ball of yarn is known to be quantumly entangled with itself after remaining motionless for a period of less than an hour but more than a minute. A ball of yarn will not become quantumly entangled with any other object unless it has interacted with an enraged kitten for some arbitrary period. Kittens that are sufficiently enraged may loop the string through the "rolled-up" extra dimensions, warping physical relationships in the world we know. In particular, gravity and electromagnetism may have a greater effect since their range is reduced by following a string which may have a shorter arc length than the pathway in reality. Dangers may include increased attraction to otherwise disturbingly unattractive members of the opposite sex (the pheromones can use the string pathway through the extra dimensions), and spontaneous lethal compression of the head (magnitude of gravity multiplied as the entanglement may cause an apparent mass increase in the subject).

The formula for quantium entanglement is as follows: $e=(e^{k}ti)>60<1+.59^{k}*n$. The cyclic nature of this formula has caused no less than three imaginary physicists to go completely and utterly insane. The entanglement constant, k, is a function of an objects real and imaginary history, describing its propensity to be entangled. N is the number of kittens.

History

Quantum entanglement was first observed by Noodle-Head Wilson in 1903. Entangled states of yarn have been regularly created in the high energy collisions of yarnballs, kittens, and antikittens ever since. As of 2005, there are known to be three levels of quantum entanglement.

The Three Known Levels of Quantum Entanglement

1. Slightly more than a little
2. Less than a lot
3. Iraqi Entanglement

Controversy

The quantum entranglement have also been noted to actually be a major stuff up in computers. Geeks have said that the entranglement was actually nothing but a shit load of bookmarks that just got into the computer while watching porn sites. This causes the computer to go extremely horny and it tries to jerk of to blow the load. Unfortuanately it doesn't have any penis, it must ejaculate through the wires, causing it to crash and just-stuff up.

The entanglement is also known for causing the porn watchers trouble by simply going to Wikipedia when they want to go to Pornhub. A reverse version has been released by hackers though....First tried in [[Riccarton High School ]] it has been known to go to Pornhub & Pichunter every time the student presses wikipedia. Unfortunately a teacher started watching porn and masterbating in the class, which caused the creators to shut it down. (The teacher was a chinese guy with 3 inch dick, not a pleasant view...)

The origins of quantum entanglement

Apparently, This Phemonenonenon originated in south-east Vietnam , where George Lucas's ex-dealer lives )in a thousand year old ritual of holding a ball of yarn on the end of your tongue as long as possible.

Little Known Facts about Quantum Entanglement

• Quantum entanglement is fun.

• Quantum entanglement is the causee of Quantum unemployment.