Pootie Tang
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Pootie Tang is an unusual example of what etymologists refer to as an non-extant phrase. That is a phrase that although it exists, actually has no meaning whatsoever.
Pootie Tang: Finally an Explanation[edit | edit source]
Creation of Pootie Tang[edit | edit source]
Pootie Tang as a phrase was first produced by monkey number 607, (Cynthia to her friends), whilst working on new formats for the BBC with an infinite number of long-tailed Primate collegues. Its non-extant status was not immediately clear and by an administrative error Pootie Tang was accidentally used on the last ever filmed smash hit adults only UK version of the 'Call my Bluff' show. Incidently the X-classification of the show by the BBFC was never entirely comprehended until the episode involving Keith Chegwin was broadcast.
Televisual consequences and Social Impact of Pootie Tang[edit | edit source]
Unfortunatley the use of a non-extant phrase upon Call my Bluff immediately led to a collapse in the show's moral backbone and its subsequent dropping from the BBC schedules, as no TRUE definition card was available the contestants were inescapably sucked up their own arses in a frightening spurious sub-logic event (FSSLE). After many hours filming the producer was forced to pull the plug, whilst the audience were unceremoniously gassed to prevent news of the scandal escaping. A public inquiry as to why an infinite amount of licence payer's money was being spent on bananas and typing correction fluid was thus speedily averted. (The old line about needing to renumerate top executives in line with the private sector to prevent their jumping ship was no longer usable after a finite but relevant number of Great Apes had defected to Sky earlier in the financial quarter.)
Effectively the show was a now an unwanted vagrant disease bearing whore and rumour has it that it has lately been seen hanging around some of the seedier parts of Sheperds Bush asking low velocity motorists if they 'are looking for buisiness?'. (The Togsvig simulacrum is also said to give a good, if a trifle toothy 'head', though this is pretty much the sum of its sexual favours, a lower half never having been constructed, as this area was occluded from the TV cameras gaze by the desk).
Sociologists have never been able to quantify the social damage done as they suddenly found that their once rich vocabularies were inexplicably reduced and were unable to put together a decent grant proposal using, at best, bisyllabic words.
There follows an excerpt from a rare transcript of the show made before the the video tape reclamation purges of the mid 80's.
Transcript Begins
Other examples of non-extant words and phrases[edit | edit source]
Currently no other examples are thought to exist. There is no such thing as Cabal and Abracadabra means "Sim sala bim simsalbimbamba saladu saladim," obviously, a phrase made famous by the Punjab from Johnny Quest.
If any other examples should be found, please ensure that they are submitted to the relevant linguistic agencies. DO NOT start using the words yourself, you may be offered a presenting job on MTV and in years to come look back on your career with shame.