Piet Hein Donner
Jan Pieter Hendrik "Piet Hein" Donner (born October 20, 1948) is the sidekick of Jan Peter Balkenende. Nobody in Holland has a clue what he is good for, or what planet he is from. But nevertheless the Dutch let him go his way. Afraid they can't pay any more with Weed otherwise.
As a sidekick, he's entitled to make even bigger screw-ups than his master. He's in charge of giving days particular colors according to the chance dykes may be blown up by nasty people and have the country be inundated. Which wouldn't be a loss, as Piet Hein and Jan Potter would drown along with it. The loss of Weed would be a disaster. Piet Hein is just a little newby ;-)
Life before Sidekick-ism[edit | edit source]
Born in 1903 at the island of Siccily. His birth name is Petri Hein Corleone. In 1912 his parents moved to Holland. They left Petri behind. Petri changed his name to Piet Hein Donner in 1915. He went to search for his parents in Holland during the Greco-Hollandian war, also known as World War I. In the town of Lutjebroek, Piet learned that his parents were killed in an attack from the french, who mistook the dutch for the greek's.
Piet's world collapsed after this, and he started a life of Sex, Drugs and Rock and roll. He was frontman for a band called The Beatles for 2 years. During these years he found out that he was a gay necrophile. They had succes after succes. But Piet gave in to the deadly drug Heroïn, and began an addiction, only to kick the habit 5 years later, in 1975. He married his childhood love, Rita Verdonk, right after his release from Betty ford's.
Piet had a family with Rita, having 2 children: the adopted Ayaan Hirshi Ali and Amalia, who is theirs. Piet and Rita divorced after 10 years of marriage in 1985. Piet didn't collapse but met Jan Peter Balkenende, with whom he fell in love with. He didn't know that Jan Peter was just a Pimp, trying to hustle ho's. But Piet ruined that idea, when he became the don, a Rapping, killing, fucking Bad-ass, which he still is today.
Official Dutch Vocabulary Words[edit | edit source]
Every year, a dictionary company called Dikke van Dale (Fat Vandals) is publishing all the new words (for a complete list, please look at the language page), a relevant summary:
- PietHeinDonnerBike (In Dutch: pietheindonnerfiets).
This is the bike as seen on the picture, Piet is just coming from a tea visit with Queen Beatrix.
Connections with the Mafia[edit | edit source]
It has been rumoured that Donner has connections with Cosa Nostra, since he released his epic rap-metal single under the name "The Don". Dutch police investigated this but stopped investigation after the murder and decapition of a horse.
Why the hell did the dutch put the word pietheindonnerfiets in their dictionary?[edit | edit source]
Piet Hein Donner secretly bought himself a few thousand bikes, he didn't know what to do with those, so he dumped them in the Amsterdam 'gracht' (canal).
Piet Hein Donner bought these bikes because he wanted the Dutch people to pay more taxes because the prises of the bikes would rise... With the money he would raise he would make a plot with his fellow minister of defense Kamp. With his fellow minister he would raise a lot of money to make the Dutch army grow (from 10 men to 300 men would be, in Donner's eyes, enough) to spread dutch influence in Europe, as can be seen at the Netherlands page on encyclopedia.org...
Piet Hein Donner however, forgot that the Dutch people are the best swimmers in the world, as a result the Dutch people jumped in the Amsterdam 'gracht' and saved the bike. Fortunately Donner was able to invest himself so the Dutch army could buy the most-needed bullets for the army...