Paper Dart
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Paper Darts are factory produced long ranged weapons manufactured with paper and stainless steel. These weapons of mass destruction are commonly used by toddlers, who deploy these weapons in battlefields known as schools. Paper darts have proven to be superior to regular darts primarily due to their cheap manufacturing cost of €0.50 vastly cheaper than the AIM 7 Sparrow.
Despite being weapons of mass destruction, paper darts have gone unnoticed by NATO primarily because they resemble a badly made paper airplane. Modern paper darts have only recently been classified as a level III threat because of repeated cases of them being found in school ceilings.
As a result of thousands of reported cases of property damage and a lack of demand from children, paper darts have ceased production in recent months.
Development and origin[edit | edit source]
During the 1957 space race, while NASA was busy developing rockets, The USSR made the revolutionary discovery that paper airplanes were incapable of:
- Ascending more than 3 metres per second
- Maintaining stable flight
- Having the ability to be flicked
Over the next few years, they refined their wings through vigorous wind tunnel testing in school hallways to "see how they would perform in battle". US intelligence found out in 1958 when Soviet engineers were seen throwing paper airplanes in public for "no clear reason". NASA, fearing the paper airplanes would be the cause of the USSR winning the space race decided to patent paper. This granted NASA exclusive rights to paper and exclusive rights to bragging rights. This move by NASA ensured that the USSR couldn't produce anymore paper weapons without paying the fee of 29.99 Euros. Unfortunately for NASA, the USSR argued that paper was invented centuries ago and refused to recognise NASA's patent.
At the end of the Space Race however, paper airplanes were rendered obsolete by new advancements in aerospace engineering. Many paper airplanes were discarded in warehouses.
Rediscovery[edit | edit source]
In the early 2020's, the discarded paper airplanes were rediscovered in abandoned Soviet warehouses. The blueprints for these were also discovered and taken to be uploaded to sites like YouTube where their blueprints were distributed to millions.
The paper darts were especially appealing to children who had vast amounts of the required materials. Children began manufacturing the darts in industrial grade factories known as schools as a form of protest from the oppressive teachers. The primary use for the darts was to deliver precision strikes to ceilings. After the widespread use of the darts, teachers renamed the darts as tools of vandalism.
In an attempt to counteract the newfound weapon, teachers began experimenting with the use of radars but failed to work since the paper materials reflected the radar waves back and were unable to be tracked. As a result of this, OSHA began giving out warning against these paper darts deeming them too dangerous to be used in this environment.
Usage[edit | edit source]
What makes paper darts so effective is their ease of use. It is recommended by experts to hold the dart backwards using your middle fingers and flick the dart forwards to achieve maximum velocity.
Power[edit | edit source]
The fundamental principles of Rock, Paper Scissors say that paper beats rock meaning and solid stone or slate will be penetrated by the paper dart. Although power heavily varies throughout build quality, OSHA classifies them as a 4.5 level threat meaning their use is allowed in most workspaces.
Messaging[edit | edit source]
Like paper airplanes, you could store illegal documents or files inside a paper dart and throw it at someone to pass notes. A highly cost effective and swift alternative to texting. This is only if the receiver can actually catch the dart. Government officials were trained to throw and catch them, once they were skilled enough, they were used for secret document passing across states. However, when paper darts went extinct in February 23, 2026, governments went back to paper airplanes.
Legality[edit | edit source]
It is heavily debated[1] if such paper darts should be legal to own, but considering paper is vital to writing letters, money laundering, and fanfic production, it was never outlawed, and only became illegal once paper darts went extinct.
Related[edit | edit source]
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ By nobody.