Nvidia
The title given to this article is displayed correctly. Only marketers think it's cool to put capital letters in the middle of words. If you're a marketer you can pretend it says nVidia.
Nvidia or NVIDIA is an American global technology company based in Santa Clara, California. Nvidia designs graphics cards that are well supported in Windows, but suspiciously not in Linux to the chagrin of Linus Torvalds. One unique feature of their design is that their cards can also serve as space heaters.
History[edit | edit source]
The company formed when a gamer, named Bob nVidia, was faced with cold feet, and shitty graphics. One day, he decided enough was enough, and ventured forth to create a device that would let his Visual Novels run at above 1 F.P.S., and his feet, above 32 degrees farenheit. During a masturbation filled frenzy, the answer came to him, as if delivered by a OpenGL E.S. 3 angel. He would make a separate processing unit for the sole purpose of heating his images and rendering his cold feet. In speed yet unmatched, he spawned of simple silicone, copper & uranium the first GPU, or Foot Warming Machine.
CheeseForce[edit | edit source]
Nvidia's main line of cheese. Their flagship cheese is known as the CheeseForceBLU XGTX (better knows as the CFBX), it completely blows the crap out of any other card out there. The CFBX has a cheese density of 80 Terratons of cheese per square centimeter. Totally devastating ATi's Cheeseon xxxTxxx which has only 400000 tons of cheese per square per square centimeter. Their budget line of CFBX is known as the CheeseForce BLU XGT (CFBGT). Many state that the CFBGT is a better deal than the CFBX because while it has 78 Terratons of cheese per square centimeter it has a much better price / performance ratio, going for 3 eggs, and a cow instead of the price of a CFBX which costs 7 coats and 8 cows.
The formula for making the CheeseForce cards[edit | edit source]
you see the ATIp = performance of the ati cheeseon cards which is multiplied by 2. Then the cheesesets, supporters, and design are added. However in recent times the formula has changed so that the first value, ATI, is multiplied by 0.0005. This is due to the release of the HD 4870 X2, which can process 6 times as much porn as the next nvidia card, the GTX280.
N force[edit | edit source]
The N force is a line of cheese racks provided by Nvidia. It include the N force C,E,F,G but no one ever cares about Nforce because they cost 3 livers and an onion. They are made with a combination of chicken meat and balogna they go especially well with the CheeseForce.
Forceware[edit | edit source]
A word that NVidia has been trying to substitute for cheese racks. Cheese Racks are too weak, forceware will force the cheese to do magic stuff. Prior to the advent of Forceware, NVidia had been trying to substitute Detonators for cheese racks, but their attempts did not achieve the desired effect. Actually, Detonator was just too powerful.
New Products[edit | edit source]
There are reports from very credible anonymous internet forum posters that nVidia will release a new line of graphics cards in the very near future. Graphic cards are what are called the brains of violent video games (a.k.a. murder simulators®). It is apparent that nVidia intends to release information about their product by having corporate VP's seek out random asian strangers and divulge details of their plans.
Another credible source reports that his brother went to a Target to buy a box of rocks, and was shocked once home to find a Geforce 9800GTOMG card inside. He was successful at getting this card to run in his amiga, only to find that driver support for the card was only slightly better than Vista.
A CheeseForce 480-ZOMGBBQ is also in development for corporate customers and rich people, it will be bundled with Duke Nukem Forever.
nVidiot[edit | edit source]
A person who here forth is considered less-smart than a Fan ATI c, but in reality is as smart as linuxkraft.
- Identification
Can be can be identified by the green glow in his eyes and unpopularity within any respectable forum, And is also one of the only people who you WILL loss all respect for within 2 seconds of them opening there mouth . . .
- Found
In any game forums normal discussing frame-ropes and flops normally regarding there own anatomy . . .
Quantum physics processor[edit | edit source]
The CheeseForce 8800Series has been imbued with the Quantum physics processor. This is intended to improve gameplay. However, as seen in the picture, It also improves websurfing. Crappish graphics, laggyness and low resolution is now a thing of the past.
