Mother Bronson's whale boner catalogue
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- We at Mother Bronson's are extremely proud to present you with yet another high-class
- selection of exclusive whale bone products for the right moment - that party with
- the ambassador's wife, or a peaceful evening with your favourite special someone.
- Why take a boring holiday on some dumpy beach among screaming brats and their lowlife
- parents when you can relax with a friend, surrounded by whale-boney luxury
- in the privacy of your own mansion?
- Mouse balls made of whale bone. Fits any mouse without balls. £30,-/pair
- Whale bone prosthetic testicles. Guaranteed not to knock her up! $50,-/pair
- Whale bone bone transplant. If your bones have become too un-mammalian during
- your insectoid practices, this transplant will shoot your marrow so full of mammaly
- that a pair of breasts will grow on your back! $800,-/cubic ft.
- Whale bone false teeth. One size fits all. Huge feral set £400,- / tiny rodent set €560,-
- Whale bone cage for framing your artificial Christmas tree. Give some authenticity
- to this traditional Eskimo feast. $8000,-/set
- Whale trombone. Extremely useful for expelling whales from your swimming pool. £200,-
- Semi-synthetic Whale bones made with 20% real Whale bone and 80% mammalian blend for
- the discerning customer on a budget. $20/pound.
- Whale bones for Whale dogs to chew on during off-season. Several sizes. £20,-/hg
- Whale bone telephone for underwater communication. Stylish; also extremely
- handy during floods. Base price 250,-
- Whale bone diamond replicas. Non-sparkling but just as expensive!
- Prices vary according to size and quality.
- Silver necklace with a real-size whale bone embedded in a pearl. You'll get noticed! £1000,-
- Ground whale bones as Chinese medicine. Works exactly the same way
- other Chinese medicines do. £300,-/hg
- Whale bone crown with near-authentic Sir McCartney's signature. £5000,-
- Whale bone pleasure stave for the real lady. Have a ride on the Moby Dick! $500,-
- Chinese T-shirt sewn with authentic whale bone needles; 100% cotton. £30,-/pc
- Whale bone touch button for the air bag in your BMW; if a crash is imminent
- just push it and BAM! the air bag rushes at you. $300,-
- Easter Bunny carved out of a whale bone the size of a penis. £350,-
- These luxurious items are naturally just samples. Send us an e-mail with your credit card
- details and you will receive a full 120-page 4-colour glossed-over whale-bone-replica bound
- book containing our full selection.
- Whale bone - the new ivory!