“In soviet russia, text smalls you!”
Small text is a powerful weapon that King James invented to hurt people's eyes, and was first used when he wrote the Bible, and lead to the use of the saying "AGH MY EYES". Since then, small text has become quite commonplace. A close neighbor of small text is really small text. There is also really big text.
Uses[edit | edit source]
Small text is a common device used to cause vision loss and blindness in large books, such as an encyclopedia, or the Bible. It proved very effective for many centuries in countries where the reading of the Bible was required. A unique form of masochism evolved as the practice of reading the Bible, and such people to this day are referred to as Catholics or Evangelicals.
Fine Print[edit | edit source]
In the field of law, small text is called fine print, and is used by lawyers to disguise what is written. Since many people cannot read small text, this is perceived a good way to add something like "I give my house to Microsoft" to a contract. I did your mum last night and you will never know, because you cannot read this!
What to do if you have been affected by small text[edit | edit source]
If you believe you may have been affected by small text, immediately drop what you are doing, and run around screaming in circles for several minutes. The damage to the eyes can also be remedied by immediate contact with salt. If the above two are unsuccessful, fall to your knees and pray to penis, or Kayla for salvation.