Manute Bol

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Manute Bol, known biologically as Homo varetus, was a South Sudanese basketball player and human footpath, who was a staunch activist for the South Sudanese cause. The tallest basketball player in history, standing at 2.31 meters tall, Manure was more than qualified for the NBA. In his spare time, he worked as a handyman, picking up things far too high for a mere human to touch.

Early life

Manute Bol was born in South Sudan, which didn't exist yet. He was from a race of tall alien beings which settled in South Sudan, which are nicknamed the Dinka. This South Sudanese race learned from Lamarck to live in the African wilderness; they had to run from lions and their legs had to keep up to not be a lion's meal. More and more tall beings appeared, and it is here that one of the most longitudinal human beings in history appears.

Manute came so prepared that even his surname, Bol, indicated that destiny already had something special and sporting in store for him; Initially they thought it would be the tetherball pole, but destiny had something even better. So, he saw that the only sporting possibility would be basketball, and that's what he dedicated himself to, and how does someone dedicate himself to this sport? Growing more and more, an absurdly easy challenge for Manute.

Bol had great luck when basketball coach Don Feeley Dapoota stumbled into the region and decided to spend a vacation getting to know the extremely poor country before going back to his luxury lamborghini. It was on an open-air safari which they called basketball there in Sudan that he saw Manute, who far away looked like a long pole. This made Dapoota horny for some reason so he went there, thinking that he was dreaming. However, when he saw Manute, he realized he was not gay.

Already seeing the big boy standing out on the courts in the form of Olivia Palito's lover , Feeley approached him while facing a giraffe to see who would laugh first and invited him to go to Istêites to play. It was very easily to convince him to go there as a single meal in a fast food place would be far more numerous than the entire agricultural exports in the entirely of Sudan for the country's recent history.

Manute accepted the proposal, but had to travel lying down on the floor of the plane, to avoid the risk of causing depressurization with his head there on the ceiling. He was offered the opportunity to be checked in as baggage if he could be rolled up like ten meters of steel cable, but declined the wonderous offer.

Career

Obviously Manute Bol, when he was just thirteen, already knew he would be some kind of sportsman, he just didn't know which one. It certainly crossed the mind of the high jumper himself, and he wouldn't even need to jump, but they would have accused him of being a cheater; He also thought about playing football, being a defender for the Sudanese national team at the time, but at this size, the attackers would have passed him through the pens - not the ball, the entire player would have easily passed through Manute's legs at every moment.

In basketball

Manute Bol had great success in his time in basketball, first in his homeland, playing for the Juba Lions. A scout who was passing through southern Sudan (the guy's plane had crashed nearby, that explains what any sane foreigner was doing there) saw that lanky boy playing basketball and, at first, thought that the the sports hall's pedestal on one of the three-point lines had become a transformer and come to life; later he noticed that that being was a human being and decided to call him to enter the United States illegally.

Manute Bol was rescued from the obscurity of high school games in the 1985 draft, in the second round (equivalent to the second division) by the Washington Wizards team, right in Washington D.C., which in Manute's time had another name; District of America, after all, this team changed its name more than Boa eSports. After the 1984 draft, which had the great monsters of the Bar Sem Lona Olympics Dream Team, having a draft where Manute Bol was selected is even strange.

In the NBA, Manute Bol's career was marked more as being the "black center who looks like a giant spider" than a successful pica player, but he had his moments. His scoring average, in American basketball, where the scores reach hundreds on each side, Manute Bol helped with an incredible two points per game on average, a mark to be beaten.

Manute Bol's lotus position, but in his case it was the "weaved bamboo plantation" position. Manute Bol ended his career being one of the greatest blockers in NBA history, almost an evil moderator. Furthermore he has a record that possibly died with him: the only player with more blocks (blocks) than points. In fact, he had so many mistakes in his career that they even called him "the girl at the club who only goes to dance, doesn't want to kiss."

Manute Bol formed with player Muggsy Bogues, the dwarf who participated in the film Space Jam and had his sporting soul stolen by aliens, the most different duo ever in the history of basketball. The funny thing about the duo was that the small and stocky Muggsy had the same weight as the giant Manute Bol, so Manute practically couldn't even pick up Muggsy and throw him, to make a five-point shot.

In activism

Manute Bol played for four teams in the National Basketball Association, never winning a single title in any of them, but that didn't matter, he had already won in his life. A simple man, he didn't spend much beyond changing the size 54 sneakers he wore and not forgetting his people and his nation, Bol turned a good part of his high salaries into humanitarian aid for the South Sudanese and their cause, who were oppressed by the larger Sudan.

Bol often visited refugee camps in Sudan, where he was treated like royalty, after all he had achieved the best life an alien could have. The Sudanese government, on the one hand, enjoyed the attention brought by an internationally famous basketball player, but soon after turned its attention to Manute, accusing him of supporting the South Sudan Liberation Army.

A true Sudanese Forrest Gump, Manute Bol also signed a contract with an ice hockey team in Indianapolis. Yes, ice hockey. Of course he didn't know how to skate, but the buzz of people eager to see such a scene generated a lot of money, which of course went to his village. He also acted like a jockey with the same objective, lucky for the horse, it was all a joke.

Personal life

Manute Bol did not have a common anatomy and for this reason he was almost included in a new human animal species, Homo varetus, which included the Dinka. Even though he was not the tallest person in the world, Manute was the tallest person and had a body made of slimed intestines.

Manute Bol was genetically privileged to be a basketball blocker and his wingspan allowed him to block cross-court passes. When he opened his arms, each middle fingertip received a different time zone. With open arms Manute surpassed even Christ the Redeemer in the record of sacred monuments with this blessed position.

Bol married an American woman who, of course, was only half his size. Which didn't stop them from producing a 2.18m tall son, Bol Bol, who now breaks shins with the Denver Nuggets. Despite Denver being one of the highest cities in America, being 1609km above sea level, Bol Bol was born adapted to dealing with rarefied air so nothing really happened to him.

Death

Unfortunately, the lives of giants and retired station dolls don't last long, and Manute Bol also had to die young, and didn't even see his country, South Sudan, freed from the clutches of the evil North Sudanese.

Manute Bol's heart had to make blood deliveries worse than truck drivers in Brazil (and they even had a break during their trips to pick up a cheap transvestite sex worker), and by the time it reached the vein in Manute's wrist, this organ was already more tired than the player's tailor. During one of the blood pumps, Manute's heart couldn't take it and collapsed. There was a widespread failure of other organs, and the former player's large intestine thanked his organic fans for his compulsory retirement.

Manute Bol was 47 years old when he left our world, and the player's coffin, by his own wish, was made with wood from the South Sudan forest, which is why that place is a tremendous desert now. The weight of the coffin stuffed with the player wasn't much, but due to its length, a troop of twenty-four men had to carry it, very carefully, as if they were carrying a giant projector screen tube.

His body was taken to his country to be buried there. Of course it took a lot of work to excavate seven feet of seven in a kilometer long, but for the South Sudanese national hero the people of the country, who considered Manute Bol a king, it was an honor. Afterwards, the sheer physical strain affected one hundred and fourteen people, killing half of them, but no one cares about them.