Mentalist

Mad as a hatter

A Mentalist is psycho looking freak with both....

• A mental disorder
• A penchant for retardation

If you roar like a mental, you are a mental. Try doing drugs or just stare blankly at a TV screen all day...aww poor couch potato, want a pillow?

Some people confuse mentalists with Mediums and people who are just possessed.

“Fucking fuck off or I'll fuck you up the fucking A-hole you mother fucking fucker - don't you fucking look at me like that you fucking fuck-stick, you think I won't fucking kill you, you uncle-fucking butt-fucker. Fuck off. What are you? some kind of mentalist?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Mentalism

Classes of mentalist

Don't be a hater

There are three classes of Mentalist....

Instru-Mentalist

The instrumentalist is the lowest form of mentalist, the scum of the mentalist world. They are poor. If the Instrumentalist thinks something is good, they will verbally shit into a conversation with dialogue such as "datz mental eh?"...

• Instrumentalist 1: "Iz guna share ma fag wid ya n that"
• Instrumentalist 2: "Mental, huz up n giz me it n dat.

Instrumentalists love doing stupid shit, usually involving violence, resulting in general amusement and hilarity amongst onlookers. If they are going to do something especially stupid other instrumentalists show them mental respec' by calling them a mentalist...

• Instrumentalist 1: "See that old biddie, I'm going take this smack cooking spoon, and use it to kill her "
• Instrumentalist 2: "Fuck off you fucking mentalist!"

Environ-Mentalist

Hatter, not hater, like alice in wonderland, it's by Oscar Wilde, probably

Environmentalist is a polite name for women.

Always some excuse

They tend to go mental at precise periods closely related to their monthly cycle....

• Premenstrual Mental - A period of roughly seven days before they menstruate. Symptoms include shrieking, constantly asking how they look, complaining because they are judged by their looks and eating a lot of chocolate.
• The period - A period of roughly seven days while they menstruate. Symptoms include shrieking, constantly asking how they look, complaining because they are judged by their looks and eating a lot of chocolate.
• Post Menstrual Tension (PMT) - A period of roughly seven days after they menstruate. Symptoms include shrieking, constantly asking how they look, complaining because they are judged by their looks and eating a lot of chocolate.
• The Inter-menstrual 'Quiet period' - A period of roughly seven days after the post menstrual period. Symptoms include shrieking, constantly asking how they look, complaining because they are judged by their looks and eating a lot of chocolate.

Funda-Mentalist

You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere??

A fundamentalist is anyone who believes that God has revealed himself to the founder of their particular chosen religion and no-one else. The name comes from the fact that they are the most fun type of mentalist, they will endlessly come up with more and more elaborate ways to defend their ridiculous beliefs in the face of all evidence. You can winde them up in loads of different ways:

• Blasphemy
• Taking their 'free' literature without a donation
• Refusing to talk to them
• Agreeing to talk to them and then disagreeing with them in any way at all
• Pooing on any of their religious symbols and or books
• Drawing cartoons. Religion is made up and so does not have the spine to ignore a cartoon
• Tell them you are a gay pagan and watch them freak out since you have just put them in a lose-lose situation where they must either admit gays can be part of their religion or give up on trying to convert you(or convince you that their idea of hell is real), neither of which are allowed by their current literal dogma.

Miscellaneous Mentalists

• That dude's mental because he fucked his own sister.
• That barrel was straight up mental
• He who shall not be named
• The mental on that song is fire.
• THAT'S WELL MENTAL. HE GOES TO KILL GARY. THEY ALL DRESS UP. IT ENDS EXACTLY THE SAME AS FIERCE CREATURES. JAMIE LEE CURTIS SHOWS FANNY AS WELL THOUGH.

I go home to soft room now, please
~Adam Sandler

• Fucking mentalist. very punky. Wednesday was shit hot, you going to see air cav at frog and bucket next Wednesday? I might make an appearance, ...
• Fucking mentalist weirdo. Here’s one of her victims - check out the eyes - totally freaked - poor dude:. Ruth Sacks - your art sucks. ..
• Anarchist Junglist Mentalist. I've done some stupid shit in my time
• I am not a mentalist, “I am not a mentalist” is exactly what you expect a mentalist to say. The ones who are truly not are the ones who come in to the surgery saying “I’m a bit worried I might be a mentalist, perhaps I should see a Psychiatrist…”
• I do hate it when people look at you like you are a proper window-licking mentalist. Particularly if you are minding your own business and not licking any windows at the time.
• Fussy Bitch - Could I just keep repeating what is going on instead?
• Dr J - Hmmm… I am sensing a paradox here somewhere… or at least I would if I knew what a paradox was.
• That is a fabulous word ‘mentalist’ love it!
• Hitler - Apart from the Final Solution and suicide he was a really great guy you know. Declared mad on 16th August 1946.

And finally

There is hope!

• The “Men in white coats” will be stopping by shortly.

External Links

• Howard Hughes
• Sigmund Freud
• OCD