Loona
| Loona | |
|---|---|
 A female Loona in her mating posture, waiting for the perfect man to come and.... well.... seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you!? GO TO HORNY JAIL! | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Domain | Eukaryota |
| Kingdom | Animalia |
| Phylum | Chordata |
| Class | Mammalia |
| Order | Carnivora |
| Family | Canidae |
| Genus | Canis |
| Species | C. lupus |
| Subspecies | C. lupus satanus |
The Loona (Canis lupus satanus) is a subspecies of wolf. A rare breed, they are known for being the most unique and unorthodox type of wolf in existence. Unlike other wolves, they walk, speak English, wear clothes that look like your sister's cringy Hot Topic selection, and they are known for swearing all the time whilst flipping the bird in response to people who are just plain annoying. Most Loonas are found in sunny, hellish, and demonic habitats in the Equator in the continent of Hell, in the Pride Ring area. They come in droves, and they tend to be nocturnal, like most wolves. They can also be found feasting on people who act like complete bitches to them.
The population of Loona wolves is currently unknown, but it is estimated to be around 30 million, primarily due to constant mating from horny freaks who happen to be attracted to anthropomorphic animals. They are currently an endangered species due to constant K-POP stans attacking and killing them, and not being aware that nobody gives a shit about K-POP. Most hellhounds can be found preying on imps and other creatures of hell. They also typically hibernate on weekends when they are 'SO TIRED', and just want to listen to My Chemical Romance or Marilyn Manson to get off to some pictures of buff Vortex wolves.
Most Loona wolves are pretty friendly and kind, but they hate it when stupid people over sexualize them as "goth furries". They are demons, for fuck's sake. Demons. Not Furries. Get your facts straight.
They don't want to fuck you.
Appearance[edit | edit source]
Most Loonas are often seen sporting grey fur with white streaks, as most wolves are. They are known to have unique eyes, with red sclera and white pupils that scare the shit out of even the most emo of humans. They also tend to have large tails that are completely grey. Most Loonas are also completely anthropomorphic, making them one of the few species of canines that doesn't walk on fours, along Krystal Foxes and Isabelle Dogs.
Behaviour[edit | edit source]
Instincts[edit | edit source]
Most Loonas, in warm or humid weather, tend to wear clothes that show off their goth attributes. Their t-shirts tend to show their mid-riffs, as well as have pentagrams on the neck cuts. As for their shorts, they are almost entirely short shorts, as they try to lure their prey into getting boners so that these fierce creatures of the wild can attack them and feast on them for dinner through a voodoo sacrifice.
In terms of behavior, most Loonas are typically calm but moody, constantly talking monotonously. However, when there is a perceived threat, they tend to growl and bark like a normal canine. However, what sets them apart from other wolves is that they also have the ability to scream and swear at people like a teenager angry at his parent.
However, they can also show genuine emotion, constantly helping others in need when they are stressed out. They can also be genuinely affectionate and kind to someone who cares for them, and feeds them twice a day. If the owner of that pet is respectful, the Loona wolf can usually show feelings of affection and loyalty, and can treat the owner as a friend or leader. Most of them tend to hear only frequencies found in death metal, so be sure to play some Cannibal Corpse to attract their attention. It's their version of a dog whistle.
Mating[edit | edit source]
When mating, most Loonas can do it in two ways, by displaying their latest Velvet Underground merch, or by dressing in clothing so sexy, it'll be enough to make any man (or woman) who is into furries be attracted to her like the horny motherfucker she is.
Most Loonas typically like to mate in the summer time. When they mate, they try to pose in sexy positions that will surely give people on rule34 or e621 enough boners and willpower to draw them on fanart. They then have to show them the fanart, and if the Loona approves, then the wolf begins the mating process. When starting a family, most Loonas tend to raise their own cubs in families, or they can raise with humans or imps. It depends on the environment and the availability of a creature for the Loona wolf to take care of someone.
