Kyle Tucker

Kyle Daniel Tucker is an American white fielder in the MLB. He has previously played for the Houston Hoes, and is currently a Dick Hanging Cub. Tucker is known for being a clubhouse favorite, treating everyone respectfully and being quite submissive. He even has his own charity, because he is that good of a person. It would seem he has absolutely no trace of negative energy in him.

Justin Paul Tucker is an American rapist in the NFL. He is the ballsack kicker on the Baltimore Raven Team Leaders, and is regarded as one of the greatest nutbusters in history. That has a double meaning.

The Incident

Kyle was born in Tampa Bay and upon coming out of the womb was IMMEDIATLY groomed by Wander Franco. This started a rough stretch for Kyle as he was touched constantly growing up. He found a way to not be depressed by becoming a baseball shitter at Henry Allen high school, where they teach people how to get stabbed by the Reverse Flash. Not only did Kyle set the school's record with 31 bomb threats, he also popped off playing basketball which earned him the pass. Kyle ended his high school career getting molested by Mr Sullivan, who would take his pedophilia to the west coast after this.

After being named SA victim of the year, Kyle was selected by the Houston Asstroes in the 2015 draft. The Asstros were planning to build something special with Kyle Tucker, Josh Hater, and LJ Hoes. The 3 were projected to break the MLB record for most n words ever, as one of them was black, one had a pass, and one was a hardcore racist. Sadly, plans had to change when Houston shipped out Josh Hater to Milwaukee in exchange for kegs of straight vodka. LJ Hoes became very sad that his idol Josh Hader was gone, so Kyle Tucker orchestrated something to cheer him up. Tucker was unwillingly the GBF to 28 goth girls, so he invited Hoes to come to the sleepover with him. What a night awaited these 2...

The place where it happened.

Kyle and Hoes patiently waited 8 hours for all 28 goth girls to go through their hello kitty collections. They started to think they weren't gunna get any play, so they started unzipping each others pants. However, the goth girls called for LJ Hoes to come into the backroom with them. Kyle gave Hoes a pat on the back and said "you earned this pal!" After Hoes walked into the backroom though, Kyle experienced the most traumatic 45 minutes of his life. The screams of getting pegged 28 times was a horrifying experience, and Kyle couldn't take it anymore and ran to the backrooms to save his friend.

"NOT MY [FELLA] HOES!" he screamed, but it was too late. His asshole was far too destroyed for him to be saved. The 28 goth girls were furious with Kyle's racist vocabulary, and turned on their gay best friend. Kyle was about to receive the worst molestation he would ever feel, and was about to see Jesus. However, he suddenly blacked out. When he regained consciousness, he was in a Houston jail cell. With a really sore penis.

Meanwhile

Just before Kyle's arrest, the Baltimore Raven Team Leaders signed their new star kicker, Justin Tucker, to a contract worth 4.5 million massage sessions. Despite nutting 28 times in the last day, Justin was arrested and sent to a Houston jailcell because he went for number 29.

Lonely as a Man without Love

Minor Brug Side Quests

Tucker began his career of getting spooned as a minor in 2016 very well. He placed 32 anks, turned invisible 69 times, and used THE MOON HAUNTS YOU 16 times. While putting up an amazing season, Kyle would black out on Sundays, leading to him dealing with an extremely sore foot on Mondays. A sore foot and a sore penis. This issue plagued Kyle for most of 2016, as every time he tried to lose his virginity, the tank would be empty.

Kyle straight up misses the fucking ball.

In late 2016, Kyle was determined to stop himself from blacking out on Sunday. He drank his first 25 career cans of redbull in the span of 10 minutes to keep awake. Despite playing fall guys until 1:30am, Kyle eventually blacked out. However, his inner consciousness battled and Kyle regained himself in the middle of Raven team leader's stadium. The Raven team leaders were in the middle of a game against the High Velocity Patriots, led by "Ted 2" actor Tom Brady. Kyle was completely lost, but his teammates started calling out for "Tucker!" The Raven team leaders told him to kick the football through the goal or else Tom Brady wouldn't make out with them. Kyle tried his very best, but ultimately kicked the ball a whopping 2 centimeters.

The Raven team leaders were not awarded with Tom Brady head, and left the field miserable. Tom Brady approached Kyle after the game, and told him that if he made the kick, he would have invited him to his Hooters themed massage parlor. Suddenly, a voice in Kyles head spoke saying "Aight fuck you, your getting it now lil bro." Kyle blacked out and woke up in another Houston jailcell, with a REALLY sore penis.

Kyle returned to shitting in the Asstrhoes minor league restrooms, putting him a minor league all sex season. Upon attending the minor all sex game, Kyle blacked out and woke up as a certified pedophile. To finish busting, the Asstrhoes assigned Kyle to the University of Arizona fall league. While at the University, Kyle became the 400th guy that day to fall in love with the Blonde Barista. However, in the middle of pretending to be gay to get close, the voice came back telling Kyle "Stop being a faggot or I'm taking control." Kyle got frightened, so he started talking about Lana del Rey. "Aight your done buddy."

Kyle started to black out, but he had gotten better at fighting back. Kyle started crashing out, trying to keep it in his pants. The blonde barista began recording and posted to Tik Tok with the caption "Schizophrenic Gooner crashes out." Kyle eventually lost control, and woke up in a parking lot without his pants. He saw Reese in the distance.

Rivalry

In 2017, Justin Tucker was an NFL all sex and cemented himself as a top nutbuster. This earned him more visits to the physical therapist and allowed him access to any massage parlor he wished. At the same time, Kyle Tucker struggled in his first MLB season. Not only could he barely stand because his foot was so sore, but he was confident that he had some form of AIDS. Worried about their pookie Kyle, the Asstrhoes told him to go see the physical therapist. Upon hearing those 2 words, Kyle blacked out and woke up in yet another Houston jailcell.

While Kyle was pissing in the prison toilet, he noticed his reflection wasn't his. Justin Tucker spoke to Kyle out of the toilet, telling him to "hang it up and let me do my thing." Contrary to popular opinion, Kyle doesn't condone rape, so he vowed to stop Justin from his devious actions.

Kyle looking a little too zesty with this one.

Down just 1 point with 20 seconds left, the Raven Team Leaders called upon their criminal kicker to tie the game and send group sex into overtime. In order to focus, Justin began thinking of the amazing massage he would get after this. For the first time, Kyle spoke to him saying "The only massage your getting is failure!" (Kyle isn't very good at comebacks). As Justin went to kick the ball, Kyle used all his power to make his toes flicker. This caused the ball to go 1 micrometer to the left of the goal post, and the Raven team leaders lost their edging streak. Justin went flacid for the first time in his career, as Kyle returned to Houston not feeling submissive but feeling dominant :devilsmile:

Kyle performed much better with the Asstrhoes in 2019, as they made it to the World Series against the Washington Avocados. Before game 1, a torta came up to Kyle asking for his autograph while aggressively flirting. Kyle was ready to puke, but Justin spoke saying "Let me have this one man, I got a thing for the chunky ones." Kyle agreed, simply so he could get out of this situation. However, it was all a set up by Justin as Kyle regained consciousness in the middle of sex. Kyle freaked out and tried to pull out, but it was too late. Its safe to say he wasn't of much use in the World Series after that.

Dick n Forth

During the COVID season, Justin Tucker was depressed because all massage parlors were closed. This allowed Kyle to fully blossom for the Asstrhoes, as he dealt the wrath of Khonshu 9 times. He performed stellar in the postseason, but unfortunately the Asstrhoes lost in overtime to the Tampa Ray Rays because no one was on point. Kyle was furious because he couldn't get revenge for when Wander spawn camped him. Justin felt sympathy for Kyle, so he took control and raped many Rays players. Still, Kyle had to wake up in a Houston jailcell again, making him the Asstrhoes all time arrests leader.

The Raven Team Leaders edged long enough thanks to another Justin Tucker SA masterclass. However, during the divisional round versus the Buffalo Bills, Justin missed both field goals because the Bills used a Storm Ult. Kyle was a huge fan of Josh Allen, and asked Justin if he could go meet him. Justin told him that was ok, because he is a white person. Kyle went up to Josh Allen and resisted the urge to suck him off. Kyle then started saying "Your so good bro! You know I got to ask though, is it..." Justin immediately shut Kyle's mouth, telling him "Theres only one rule in the NFL, never ask Josh Allen is it in him. You don't understand the catastrophes that will ensue." Justin took full control afterwards so that he could rage masturbate in his apartment, as massage parlors still weren't open.

Us Against the World!

Duo Queue

Kyle gripping his cock in pain, because Justin forgot to tell him about the orgy from last night.

Kyle and Justin slowly began to co-exist in peace, allowing Kyle to pop off for the Asstrhoes in 2021. Kyle finished 2021 with 30 kills,14 solo kills, and 29400 damage, making him the first Asstro in history to go high elo. What was more impressive was the fact he had these stats without throwing down any anks. While nominated for both a gold cock and silver shitter award, Kyle won neither due to extensive arrest records (fuck you Justin).

Kyle played in the postseason with Houston, and called every member of the Chicago Black Sox the n word. When any of them tried to confront him tho, Justin would take over and whip it out. In Game 4 of the Black Sex series, Kyle became the first Asstrhoe to steal 50 bases in one game. This was actually Justin tho, who was so good at running the bases because he was pretending he was chasing massage girls. The Asstrhoes proceeded to face off against the Flying Red Sox, but luckily for them, they had Hawkeyes sonic arrow at their disposal. Sadly versus the Atlanta Boobs, the Asstrhoes got squad wiped by a PUREE CHAOSSSSS and Dr Strange Portal combo. They fell back to Bronze 1.

After a heartbreaking throw for Kyle, Justin took the opportunity to steal the spotlight. In late 2021, Justin set the all time record for longest cumshot in the NFL at 66 yards. He sniped a massage girl with his cumshot, but officers didn't arrest him out of sheer respect for his talent.

Before the 2022 season, Justin was given a contract extension by Baltimore worth 24 million massage sessions. Justin abused his new contract, leading to Kyle slumping in April and not be able to get his rod going once. Luckily, Kyle got a bot lobby against the Texas Racists and raised his confidence back up. Kyle officially declared "Were back" after hitting a home run off Martin Luther King Jr and spewing out the n word. Fuck ya!

Kyle regains consciousness with shit on his arm.

On May 17, Kyle and the Asstrohoes diff'd the Red Sex by using 5 ults in one inning. From the Red Sex perspective, all they heard was "THE MOON HAUNTS YOU BYE THE EYE OF AGOMOTO TREMBLE BEFORE BAST ASSEMBLE BERSERKERS RAGE" Kyle wasn't done yet, farming another 6 KO's with a second THE MOON HAUNTS YOU just 2 innings later. By June 17, Kyle extended his win streak to 15 games and was approached by "Ted 2" actor Tom Brady. Brady this time invited Kyle to his Hooters themed massage parlor, but Kyle declined because that would cut into his reel watching time. Inside Kyles mind, Justin looked like the Interstellar meme of the astronaut. "NO LET ME OUT NOOOO!"

Kyle made it up to Justin by being named an all sex and going to the all sex game. Kyle told Justin to quote "have at it." It was believed that the many cum stains left at Dodger Stadium were from Justin Tucker, but they were actually there before the all sex game from the Dodgers usual gay sex. Kyle ended up producing another elite season, cementing himself as a top Hoe. Kyle finally beat up Wander Franco in late September, when he gave him a light smack on the wrist. Kyle locked in for the postseason, becoming the first Asstrhoe to get 2 squad wipes in the postseason. Kyle secured the Assrhoes world series victory by bringing point to 100%. Kyle and Justin celebrated by going on a "2 man" with Luna Snow and Psylocke. They ended up with a frozen penis.

Jerkmates

Towards the end of the 2022 season, Justin tried to break his own record by hitting a 67 yard cumshot. Police watched him miss by 30 feet and accidently splash a group of underage girls. He was arrested and sent to the usual Houston jailcell. Kyle regained consciousness, but was now given a VIP jailcell since he's there so often.

Kyle was awarded with the gold and black skin after a cracked ranked performance the prior year, and he followed it up with another poggers performance. Kyle utilized the team up with Criminal & Dagger to go invisible and hide his sexuality. However, when the postseason came around, Kyle began performing poorly. He thought Justin was getting crazy play, but he was actually just abusing cocaine. Like a symbiote, Justin took down Kyle with him ass they both performed ass in October.

Justin began missing his cumshots at an above average rate, which started to limit the amount of massages he could get. Kyle finally pulled a bad bitch in December, but threatened Justin he would cut their penis off if he tried to rape her. It was a sad christmas for Justin.

Justin after his cumshot swerved to the left and splattered a family of 5.

The Rise and the Fall

After converting Justin back from a cocaine addiction to a jerking addiction, Kyle was able to go wild in 2024. Before June, Kyle dropped a 90 KO bomb and used THE MOON HAUNTS YOU a record 13 times in one match. Sadly, on June 3 Kyle got hit in the leg by the baseball of great pain and agony. This placed him on the 400 day IL, and also busted up Justin's kicking foot. Since he was so good before June, MLB still invited Kyle to the all sex game. Despite not being able to walk, Justin still took control and crawled to the all sex game. He tried to pound Squirrel Girl, but he couldn't stand up straight enough to get it in right.

A very sad day became an even worse year for Justin, who was no longer in his sexual prime. The Raven team leaders stopped paying Justin his massage sessions, leading to him having to assault women in the street. Even when Kyle came back in September and got 4 MVPs in a row, all Justin heard was "Well, you can't win em all." The Asstrhoes didn't have a good postseason, as they got looted by the Detroit Tiggers.

During the 2024 offseason, Kyle decided to make a tough choice in order to help his pal. He orchestrated a trade that would send himself to Chicago, where he would never wear pants again. Kyle hoped that if Justin always had his dick out, it would refuel his cumming talents. Before leaving Houston, Kyle made sure to send gifts to all Houston jail guards who watched over him. It was the right thing to do.

While Kyle quickly adjusted to the no-pants life, and got to have swordfights with all his teammates, Justin was still struggling with erectile overfunction. It got to a point where he was seen many times crying in Chicago alleyways while masturbating. That is, until he was approached by a man in a suit and briefcase...

Post Credits Scene

Josh Allen was chilling at Bills stadium, practicing his I NEVER MISS. Somebody knocked on the door to Bills Stadium, asking to come in. Josh immediately could smell that they were white, so he let them in right away. The Deep walked into Bills stadium, with a SQUID attached to his balls. Before Josh could even mention how happy he is that they were white, the Deep whispered "is it in you?" The smile on Josh's face vanished, in fact all emotion vanished. He started taking off his clothes, and then proceeded to get in his car and drive away.

Josh was spotted at many drive throughs, dick'd and dangerous. It would seem the Deep unleashed the Winter Gooner, who would jerk off at drive throughs. Again, and Again, and AGAIN, AND AGAIN...