Kristi Noem
Kristi Noem is an American politician/cunt who served as the eighth US Secretary of Homeland Insecurity for 2025 to 2026. Hopefully she spends more time in prison (that is, if she ever convicted). She served as the governor of the US state of South Dakota from 2019 to 2025, but because South Dakotans were tired of her ass, she became the Excrementary of Homeland "Security" in 2025. She is a twat who thinks it's okay to murder innocent civilians. Noem was fired by US president Donald J. Trump (who was found liable for sexual assault, by the way) after it was discovered that she was cheating on her cross-dressing husband and spent too much money on ads and private luxury jets. We don't know why, though.
Oh, and also, she killed her dog because she thought it was impossible to train.
Early life[edit | edit source]
KKKristi was born on November 30, 1971 in South Dakota. She was also raised there, and is of Norwegian descent. That's one more thing she has in common with those Norwegian NSBM dudes, other than the fact that they're all neo-Nazis. Somehow, she graduated college in 2012. Given the fact that she's fucking stupid, I highly suspect that she cheated her way through college.
Political "Career"[edit | edit source]
Somehow, Noem won a seat in the South Dakota House of Representatives in 2006, two years after she killed her dog. During her time in the House, she sponsored laws in favor of gun rights for South Dakotans. Hmm, I wonder why.
I'm going to add more later.