Kiafication of BMW

Kiafication of BMW refers to the specific case of Kiafication infecting BMW, once regarded as the creator of "The Ultimate Driving Machine." Between approximately 2017 and 2025, BMW transformed from a maker of precise, driver-focused vehicles into a manufacturer of bloated, oversized, touchscreen-obsessed, mass-market tech appliances resembling generic products from Kia, Hyundai, or worse.

This shift marked one of the most tragic and visible examples of Kiafication in modern automotive history.

Origin

BMW's decline into Kiafication began subtly during the late 2010s, with increasing pressure from tech competitors (Tesla), luxury marketing trends, and an overwhelming obsession with digital interfaces. Rather than standing firm in its values, BMW caved — enlarging grilles, deleting physical controls, and abandoning proportion-driven design principles in favor of "bold emotional statements" and screen worship.

Main Agents of Infection

• Adrian van Hooydonk — BMW Group Design Chief who greenlit the tech-driven design philosophy.
• Domagoj Dukec — BMW Head of Design (2019–present); primary driver of grille gigantism, split lights, and the triumph of optics over soul. Sometimes nicknamed Nedomagoj or Niedomagoj ("the failing Domagoj").

Timeline of the Sickness

Year	Event	Symptom
2017	G11 7 Series LCI	First bloated facelift; interior digital overload begins.
2018	G15 8 Series	Cold, sterile interior despite sleek exterior beauty.
2019	G20 3 Series	Weight gain and over-digitalization symptoms worsen.
2020	G22 4 Series	Birth of "Beaver Teeth" grille horror.
2021	BMW iX	Full techno-blob SUV mutation.
2022	BMW XM	Total meltdown of BMW design DNA; hostility to all aesthetic sense.
2023	G70 7 Series	Split headlights and tech-throne interiors go public.
2025	Neue Klasse debut	BMW fully embraces Kiafication: panoramic screens, minimalist sadness, soul extraction complete.

Symptoms of the Infection

• Exterior Disfigurement:
  • Grilles sized to cool collapsing stars
  • Body shapes more soap bar than sedan
  • Headlight layouts confusing to wildlife and human drivers alike
• Interior Devolution:
  • 80% touchscreens, 20% regret
  • Real buttons exiled to history
  • Subscriptions for basic human rights like heating or steering feel
• Identity Collapse:
  • Ultimate Driving Machine becomes Ultimate Swiping Experience
  • Rear-wheel-drive passion buried under EV mandates and corporate marketing rot

Public Reactions

• BMW Enthusiasts: Mass migration to Porsche, Alfa Romeo, Mazda or living in nostalgic denial.
• Internet Memes: "Beaver Teeth BMWs", "BMW: Built Mostly With iPads," "Ultimate Scrolling Machine."
• Kia Motors: Politely distanced themselves, claiming "at least our grilles have proportion."

Consequences

BMW's shift alienated multiple generations of loyal customers, permanently blurred its once-pristine brand image, and placed it firmly among the ranks of once-proud companies who chose marketing gimmicks over authentic legacy.

See Also

• Kiafication
• Ultimate Scrolling Machine
• Beaver Teeth BMWs
• Subscription Seat Heaters
• German Tesla but Sadder

In Memoriam

E30, E36, E39, E46, E90, F30, F87, G30.

"You will not be forgotten, even when your successors try to erase you."

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Kiafication of BMW, RIP 2025 – Nedomagoj Dukec