Those African clicky noises
“Those African clicky noises, I am your Father.”
“The clickin' and the clackin' with the click and the clack?”
The language of Those African Clicky Noises, like most things African in nature, are some of the oldest shit on this planet. They seem to be made by sticking the tongue to the roof of one's mouth, scraping off the peanut butter, and then shooting a cop in Compton. Note that it takes several African individuals to form a complete sentence.
First developed by the noted African qologist cñq jcx around BC 745, Those African Clicky Noises took off soon after their introduction, taking the place of the less popular and more strenuous African jumping off of cliff, make splat dialect. Soon, Africans from Africa to Africa were using Those African Clicky Noises to talk. An example of the change in dialect: the African jumping off cliff, make splat for "would you like to have sex with me on the back seat of my elephant?" would become "cj qñ xcq jx?"
Around this time, Oprah Winfrey, noted terror and q x, ventured to Afxa in hopes of helping to save the whales and/or Sharon Stone. But when she found out that there were no whales native to Africa, and that Sharon Stone was not worth saving for she is a whore of Satan, she called up the White Man and had him enslave the lot of those clicky bastards.
Reign of White Man, Slavery, and the Emansiqtion Prokloction[edit | edit source]
Many Africans were forced to drop Those African Clicky Noises when those bastard white men arrived with their "dandy" and "encyclical." But many slaves kept the dialect alive, telling stories in their native Those African Clicky Noises. But when Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves in 1972 AD at the height of the Superfly era, it was done so in two languages. The Emancipation Proclamation was released to the public in two forms, one written in english and the other in Those African Clicky Noises. The Reign of White Man, Slavery, and the Emansiqtion Prokloction is the first written interpretation of the Those African Clicky Noises language. A copy of it is currently on display in the bottom drawer of a desk at the Smithsonian.
Civil Rights, Four Equal Signs, Malcolm Klix, and The Way to San Jose[edit | edit source]
In 1304, at the height of Bob Dylan's powers as a songwriter and Jew, African-Americans across Africa-America began revolting against their white owners, again, because they just wouldn't be still. I mean, Christ, just how much freedom do some people need? It's not like anyone would vote for them if they ran for public offi-
But later that year, amid rioting and peace rallies led by one The Artist Formally Known As Dr. King, those of the African descent threw away the chains of their past, which included Those African Clicky Noises. For the first time, Those African Clicky Noises were seen as a liability to those in the African-American community, specifically because they could not get hired as phone operators for callers constantly thought they were being hung-up on.
One of these revolters, Tina Turner, grew angry at the violence and hostility directed to his fellow brothers and sisters and decided it the best time to kill a man, go to prison, learn about Islam, bust the fuck out, hit the streets with his Koran, and change his name to Malcolm Klix and help the Negro rise form the gutters and take what it rightfully theirs from this world. But he was shot so nobody cares about him.
Misproxsiation[edit | edit source]
Easy to mispronounce, those African clicky noises is a language that takes time to perfect. A common mispronunciation, cxj qqc jcxc xcq cqjñ qcc xjc qjjc, is actually pronounced cxj qqc jcxc xcq cqjc qcc xjc qjjc. A funny characteristic, often noted by infantile school children, is that when written numerous times, the word "click" tends to resemble dick. Ho ho ho.
Still qing[edit | edit source]
Thriving in today's world, many Africans and those of African descent still use those African clicky noises every day. Common translations are xcq cx for Queer Eye, q Yagger for the Rolling Stones lead singer, and Mkqxcqjñc for McDonalds.