IXL
“I love IXL! It's the best torture tool to use at mein camps! Forget the gas chambers! IXL is more effective und cheaper too!”
“I agree with comrade Hitler, IXL work very well in gulag, better than firing squad which waste bullets. Now we lock enemy of state in room with IXL and they die of insanity”
IXL (also known as IXHELL) is a secret super weapon disguised as an educational tool conceived by Satan himself. IXL preys on the impressionable and mature alike, and feed on the dying braincells of those who dare try to comprehend their material. Unfortunately, entire school districts have fallen to the unholy creation and are slowly becoming yet another piece in Satan's evil plan to take over our dear planet Earth.
The Plan[edit | edit source]
Satan's plan came to motion when he wanted to know how to infiltrate society in the easiest way. A weapon disguised as a educational tool came to his mind and IXL was deployed, and now children, teachers and parents alike are falling to darkness, and eventually every person on the planet.
So far, the planned effects of IXL have not occured, but given time, the world will eventually be overthrown by it. The world will run red with smoke, lava,and dying students, and the Earth will take its final breaths, nothing will ever be the same and nothing will ever be more, and the world will be thrown into a repetitive, torturous age that will never end. The Earth will have been taken over by Satan and the infamous Paul Mishkin (creator of IXL), and there will be no way to recover the past Earth. In order to stop this fate, IXL must be destroyed, or humans will face these chains forevermore.
Relation to School[edit | edit source]
School districts use IXL daily and as a result the younger generations of humanity are being by the program. It is hard to resist since they will either contact parents or hurt your grades and you have no say in what happens. Satan and Paul Mishkin are luring more kids and teachers with fake reviews and a seemingly friendly website. This feeds into Satan's plan as he will be able to overthrow governments when the kids grow up. Before his plan is finally finished, the grown-up kids will make Satan himself leader of Earth, and everything in the above section will happen.
Prevention[edit | edit source]
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Preventing said possibilities for end-of-the-world scenarios requires 8 'simple' steps. That anyone can do, though it recommended you recruit individuals to carry out the Lord's work
1. First, make sure Satan's messengers Paul Benjamin Miskin and his wife Jinglin Lin (Jennifer) Gu are neutralized via exorcism (the only way to neutralize evil beings that work for Satan) repeat the same with IXL's upper management who's souls have been corrupted by these two, this is a precautionary measure, even thought they'll be useless after the other 2 are gone, they may try to follow in their footsteps and we don't want that happening. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP to ensure that they won't be able to terrorize children or employees for world domination again!!!!!
2. Destroy servers containing IXL software and other data, we don't want that stuff to ever be retrieved.
3. Cleanse IXL's offices by brining a priest and using holy water, and free the poor abused and overworked employees locked in the basement of IXL HQ and its other locations that are being held against their will to work against the Lord (they have a special place in the Lord's kingdom), we must answer their cries for help that they've posted on Glassdor and related websites.
4. Cleanse IXL's subsidiary and sister companies (use holy water and bring a priest to their offices), of anything IXL related, whether that be their management (exorcise them), data, or structure, this must be done as well, as these companies are too far gone, IXL has corrupted them so now Satan has his claws in them. basically repeat step 2 for companies that are owned by or associated with IXL, repeat step 3 if necessary.
5. Prevent the "IXL" trademark and its horrible software from ever being used and mentioned again, whether for educational materials or anything else, just mentioning IXL can invoke Satan.
6. Destroy all mentions of IXL in documents and schools, really anywhere and anything IXL related must go, as I said before, its name invokes Satan.
7. Take control of any bank accounts and financial assets owned by IXL, and distribute the wealth among its victims, especially be sure to compensate the abused God abiding employees, then donate whatever is left over to churches to help the Lord's mission of keeping Satan off of Earth.
8. Invoke the Lord to remove IXL and related company offices from this Earth, get the government to cover it up, and blame the aliens.
These steps aim to prevent the effects of Satan's control by diminishing all mentions of IXL in all locations. If these steps are to be taken, IXL will be unable to help Satan to control Earth.
Be prepared to take out teachers who Satan recruited to work for him. Try to use exorcism, bribery, and say Jesus many times, as Satanists are scared of him. This is your only needed defense weapon.
