I-Ready

The logo to I-Ready, closely resembling the nine layers of Hell.

I-Ready is an educational website created in 2009 and released in 2011 for the soul-intent of torturing and manipulating the minds of children under the age of 18. I-Ready's main purpose in life is to teach children how to do math and read (as if they couldn't already do that). It features lessons that can take over an hour to complete, and if you wait long enough, it will kick you out, making you contemplate on life and why you are even here.

As the great physician and scientist Albert Einstein once said, "I-Ready and its creators all deserve to go to Hell, as they made a grand mistake in creating this poor excuse for a website." These were actually his last words, but only the creators of I-Ready and I know this so don't tell anybody.

History

I-Ready began its unholy creation sometime in the grand old year of 2009, then took two years to make and release. The creators, Curriculum Associates, founded in 1969, who had just gotten out of state prison for manslaughter, decided that they would make up for it by creating a website for educational purposes.

Am I telling the truth?

Probably not.

However, the important thing is that Curriculum Associates were the unfortunate creators of I-Ready.

Games

An ungrateful customer from the I-Ready learning game Cupcake

The only good thing about I-Ready is the games. Yes, you read that correctly. Games!

They call them "learning games", but there is little to no learning involved. Such as the game "Cloud Machine". It's in the learning games category, yet you learn absolutely nothing. That should be good in your mind, because why learn when you can play a game?

Actually, I lied. There is learning in these games. BUT, I still hold my statement that there is very little learning involved, because the learning is just adding, subtracting, fractions, the whole shebang! But even this isn't fair. Games should be fun, not mathematical. The only game on I-Ready that has no learning involved is Cloud Machine, and I give that game a gold star, as you should as well.

Diagnostics

Ah, the diagnostics. The fucking diagnostics. These come along every once in a while, but they are still VERY annoying. These aren't your average lesson. These can take up to multiple weeks to complete fully. They used to put breaks in between the diagnostics that were actually games, and that made them survivable. But they changed the breaks. Now, instead of games, they're breathing exercises, and absolutely nobody wants to do those.

When you complete the diagnostic, all there is is a screen that shows your score. That's it. There's no fun activity for completing it afterward, just a screen with a number on it. I-READY IS SO BORING.

Now don't take this rant as a bored elementary schooler who is just trying to get attention, because I'm not one. Okay? Alright.