HowTo:Write unnecessarily long headlines that annoy everyone who reads them because they take up too much space, but at the same time makes you feel good because it's funny to write headlines without periods that have no actual content

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Gorillatrans.gif
HowTo
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos

The art of writing long headlines - Rules that can help you on your way to become a person who spends a lot of time making long headlines that are completely pointless and are written down so fast that they end up as nonsense that nobody bothers reading, which is good because you have then achieved what I want (or at least what I want you to want)[edit | edit source]

1. Use a lot of words.

2. Don´t think about what you are typing, just type it.

3. A headline should include as few dots as possible, so save your breath for later.

4. Don´t be afraid! You shouldn´t care about what others think about your headlines! What´s more important, their opinions, or a great headline?

5. Do not use unnecessarily long headlines at school. This can damage the teachers sensitive part of the brain, called Gradeius. This can affect your grades negatively.

The point of this headline: adding an extra headline because I enjoy making long headlines that have no serious content that should have made you realize how idiotic these headlines really are, but you should really see how fun and rich they are at the same time, since they are written about as fast as I think, if not even a little faster[edit | edit source]

6. Writing boring headlines is just fun, even though it can be extremely boring for the readers.

7. Don´t waste your time thinking about what you are writing. You can use that time on writing long headlines instead.

Another headline because I quite like making these headlines that just take up too much space for no reason, even though they may not be funny and are just in the way, which is even funnier for me, because i like writing headlines that annoy people[edit | edit source]

8. Don´t bother writing anything serious outside the headlines. It´s a waste of time. Your creativity should be in the headlines, not the actual text.

9. Wait, why am I still writing these rules in a normal text format?

10. Make sure the headlines are as annoying as possible. Make some parts of the text big, and other parts small. If you are experienced enough you should be able to do this quite well.[edit | edit source]

The point of this comment: Making sure there actually is something between the headlines.

Why you should write long headlines that everyone thinks are boring except yourself who thinks it´s fun to see others bored that your headlines are insanely long, something that doesn´t apply to all people, but at least it affects people like myself. Also, I just used a period in my headline, something that isn´t recommended for an advanced headline writer, but I´m fine with it because it shows you how you shouldn´t do it[edit | edit source]

1. Writing long headlines is funny and may appeal to others' sense of humor.

2. For pure annoyance/spite. Ever had to write something for someone who you dislike, or write for a reason you dislike? Well, you can now rebel in your own way by writing these sorts of headlines! People will get angry at you, but it's worth it in the end.

3. Wait, I don't have any more reasons...

Screw this! I'm gonna make this an article on SHORT headlines now![edit | edit source]

Because writing long headlines got annoying for everyone involved.

Why you should write short headlines[edit | edit source]

1. They aren't annoying and might actually get you somewhere.

2. They actually make sense most of the time.

3. Long headlines suck.

4. Medium headlines also suck.

Hey, what about medium-sized headlines which are medium-sized and aren't long or short, but are still annoying nonetheless due to being medium-sized?[edit | edit source]

Yes, these exist. I'm not sure what they're used for, as short headlines make more sense and the nonsense of a medium headline would be better suited in an unnecessarily long one.

Back to unnecessarily long headlines that have no good reason to be made and annoy everyone who reads them, because I don't know where else to go with my short and medium headlines and need to finish this somehow[edit | edit source]

I'm running out of ideas...

Why you should NOT write unnecessarily long headlines that almost everyone thinks are boring because they are unnecessarily long and serve no purpose other than being unnecessarily long and unfunny[edit | edit source]

1. They can annoy people.

2. They are generally considered unfunny.

3. They may take time and funniness away from the actual content of the article.

4. Short headlines are just better, though harder to write about.

[edit | edit source]

Yes, indeed, there is a fourth option here. Not adding any headline at all, and going straight to the content! While it seems like an interesting gimmick and can confuse several people, it is not recommended to do this unless you intend to use it as a gimmick and/or confuse several people. Using no headline at all will, as stated above, confuse people. It can also withhold information your audience may need to understand the article.

Short segue into end of article[edit | edit source]

An unnecessarily medium-sized headline about the end of the article's approach as well as my lack of writing skill[edit | edit source]

The final unnecessary headline whose goal is to end the article, and is also neither nonexistent, short, or medium, but rather unnecessarily long as it is the only interesting way I found to end this unnecessarily long article about unnecessarily long headlines and how to write them[edit | edit source]

Spork.svg

This page was originally sporked from Ikkepedia.