HowTo:Vandalise Wikipedia

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Instead of being a lam0r wendell, wendellise Wikipedia with style! Follow this easy guide, and you will be an elite wendell:

1. Create a new Wikipedia account. It's traditional to entitle it as some variant of "Willy on Wheels", but this may attract attention. It will get you banninated nine times. In 26 seconds. So go register "Platypus victim" or something instead. By create a user account, you shield your ip from admins, thus they can only ban your account and not your IP. You can create up to 10 accounts under each IP adress, thus your wendallize productvity increase 10 times.
2. Click "Random Page" a few times to find a good target. Discard the lousy or brief ones (because who's impressed if you wendellize List of state leaders in 53 BC?), but don't go for the super-obvious either (you're lost in a sea of wendells if you mess with George W. Bush). Just go to random pages until you find something notable. Ideally it should be something with at least one legitimate edit per day, more if possible.
   

   Take a stand against evil empire prosecuting wendells.
   

   You'd likely side with Uncyclopedia because Wikipedia blocks vandals. However, if you create smelly socks, you can evade the blocks. Think again?‎
3. Start the war! If you are part of a group, get them to help: remember, the more people involved, the more damage.
4. Edit to taste. People who just type random gibberish are uncool; put some effort into it, and write a brilliant exposition tangentially related to the article's topic, that just happens to be completely ridiculous. Try to follow the structure of the original article, and keep vaguely on-topic. Don't save yet.
5. Still don't save.
6. Okay, you should save now.
7. Start refreshing the page. Within five minutes or so, you should get a message on your talk page with a friendly warning mentioning stuff like "experimentation" and "sandboxes". You will be thanked for your edit for the first and last time, so cherish this moment of rationality for the sea of thanklessness that is to follow.

   Being stylish is good; ergo, you clearly don't want to deny your overwhelming style, since that would be insulting to yourself. Respond with a high-toned, almost-plausible, but ultimately specious argument based on far-flung and unlikely premises, the conclusion of which is that the poster can go shove it where the sun don't shine. It might be appropriate to add a reasonable amount of evil laughter; use your judgment. In any case, you should certainly include numerous obtuse references to multiple famous philosophers (Nietzsche is an obvious start but shouldn't be overused).

8. Wait to see if the person responds to your response. Give it maybe a day or so.
   • If they don't, insult the original warner on their own talk page, questioning their resolve in actually helping newbies if they don't even stick around to answer questions, and so forth. Since this will actually have a grain of truth in it, you can make a really scathing condemnation here. Then see the next bullet point.
   • Once you have the original warner's attention, keep on arguing. During the course of the argument, repeatedly revert to your wendellized version of the target page, claiming it's legitimate and that additions shouldn't be reverted without discussion. Wikipedians love discussion. Conscientiously incorporate any intervening edits into your wendellized versions as a sign of your good faith, and be sure to pointedly note that you're doing so in your edit summaries (this is why it's best to pick a page with some traffic, regardless of notability).
9. Eventually, you will be blocked. Check Special:Ipblocklist to see if you have been blocked or not. If your account name has been blocked, then editing any article using the blocked account will trigger an automatic IP ban, which will ruin your fun. Instead, create a new account and continue to wendellize. But in some cases, you can't create an account, so you can appeal your block. When you put the unblock message on your talk page (which you can still wendellize) say "I am Chris Hansen From Dateline, NBC, doing a report on how Wikipedia can be wendellized so easily. When I'm unblocked, I'm going to do a report on how quickly wendellism can be reverted."
10. Alternatively, you might want to track down the blocking admin, go to his house, and challenge him to a Yu-Gi-Oh duel in proper Victorian fashion. If one or both of you is female, you should appoint a champion to fight for you instead; failing that, please note that the entertainment value increases greatly if you wear really tight and/or goth clothing. The ultimate thrill, however, lies in minimalism. Or does it?