HowTo:Decorate your twat for Christmas
Important notice: This article is part of a larger series on genitalia decoration ideas for women who want to catch their cuntyphobic spouses unawares and force them to give oral pleasure. The aim of the article series is to bring about a better-organised society through such re-education of the most neurotic heterosexual males. There are as yet no studies to back up the claim that this would work, but of course it will. If your husband/boyfriend/regular rapist doesn't like the taste of your genitals, he will obviously go seek another partner. This will lead to improved compability in sexual relationships and thus to more happiness throughout society - quite obviously. If your male has never tasted your genitals, how can he make up his mind and base it on any kind of fact?
It can be argued that the taste of genitals is not very important to a sexual relationship. It can also be argued that the Earth is actually flat. If you for even one second imagine that cunnilingus is not one of the most important and pleasurable things a man can do, you must be a veritable cuntyphobe yourself. Do yourself a favour and quit reading right now. You must be on the verge of throwing up or shitting your pants out of sheer terror already, am I not right?
There is yet another argument against writing this particular article. The argument runs thus: we already have an article that covers quite a lot of ground in the area of twat decoration, namely HowTo:Decorate your cunt for Easter. The argument is pretty strong, and no properly motivated counter-argument could be found at the time this text was in the works. Therefore we will not try your patience by uselessly stretching out this article you are now reading. Instead, we refer you straight to the original article. It does not matter which link you click.
Afterword[edit | edit source]
While these methods of twat decoration resemble those that can be found elsewhere on the site, there are subtle but telling differences. Most of these are only noticeable through long practice, so if you fail to spot them at first, don't make the mistake of assuming they do not exist. Twat decoration is an art among others, and it should not be seen as a brainless mass-product. It is not like football, boxing or making up your face. The methods are not often discussed in public. Is any other proof required?
Another, slightly less important notice: we have left this afterword in place despite the fact that it does not seem to belong anywhere now. It was written prior to the first notice and we did not have the heart to leave it unpublished because it is such a miraculously good one.