HowTo:Cite spaghetti

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for sighting spaghetti?

In wïkïs, particularly wïkïpëdïä, you are told to "cite your source". That may sound hard, but it isn't. You should also cite spaghetti as source is like the sound in a videogame: it's rice but unnecessary. The spaghetti is the most important part. What a shame it is so often overlooked.

Citing spaghetti is long, annoying and tiresome. Especially since spaghetti is very touchy-feely and inter-connected, like this!

Why should you cite spaghetti? Why the hell answer that!? Want to ask silly questions like that? Go elsewhere. OK, class, sorry about that disruption. First, you can ask some questions.

Questions

There's a guy called you? Good for him!

Uhh, you are you. As in...Urgh, how to explain it? Oh you know what: OFF WITH YOUR TOUNGE!

Why cite spaghetti?

Not the time to answer that. Why? This article is not a "why", or is it?

How do you cite spaghetti?

I'll get to that soon.

When should you cite spaghetti?

Gotta be fresh!

When you want to. Preferably when it is still fresh. Fresh spaghetti not only tastes good, but also makes for a great source, and also goes well with source.

Why cite spaghetti?

Argh, you're not gonna let this go, will ya? Fine, here it is: spaghetti goes well with source.

Why not cite pasta then?

Because, I.. WHY YOU LITTLE... I'LL JUST MAKE ANOTHER ARTICLE FOR PASTA NOW! YOU CAN FIND IT HERE!

Why did that link point to nowhere?

SPAGHETTI IS PASTA YOU RETARDED BASTARD!!

How to cite spaghetti

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there, after <insert name here> asked silly questions like that. I still don't understand why I'm getting a pay-cut. Teaching kids like you is hard work. I deserve a raise.

Anyway, citing spaghetti is easy:

1. Either buy a bucket of worms, or find enough worms to fill a bucket to the top.
2. Rape a pretty young lady, and make sure to take a few pictures of her naked for p0rn reasons.
3. After you two had fun, stuff the worms up her naughty bit, and wait until they are covered in something. Anything. Wee will do nicely.
4. Run before the cops come. If the lady follows you, let her. Unles she is screaming something like "Raper, get back here" or "He's over there, get him!" and genuinely seems angry.
5. Manage to get out of prison with your worms.
6. Knock someone out cold, and use a knife to carefully remove their eye. Careful now, one wrong move and you might kill them.
7. If the lady knows what you did and doesn't call the cops, kill her, as she clearly wants to kill you. If she does, kill her as revenge.
8. Run from the cops.
9. Escape prison. If you can, get you bucket of worms. If they were set free, restart from step one.
10. Put the worms in a tray in your mom's house and cook the worms at 20^o Celsius for ten minutes. You may need to tie your family to a chair.
11. Crush the eye and pour the resulting liquid into the tray.
12. Cook for another thirty minutes.
13. Let to cool and cite spaghetti until you run out.
    • Alternatively: hide the spaghetti and play "sight the spaghetti".
    • Alternatively: put the spaghetti into a bowl and sit, then shit, on it. This is called "sitting on spaghetti", which is similar to the word "siting" (a play to the word "citing") it.

The pheasants of Egypt enjoyed taking the eyes from the pharaoh, and the event apparently occured weekly.

So go out there and add a spaghetti reference today!

Results

There are a number of results. All are good, but sadly not all happen.

• Getting blocked
• Becoming an ADMIN
• Losing your significant other (if you have one)
• Being hated
• Losing your friends (if you have any)
• Losing ADMIN rights
• Depth
• Getting new friends who find silly dad jokes so funny they wet themselves. Never gets old. The funny bit is the humiliation they feel as they explain to the teacher, in front of class, the joke that cracked them up like an egg so much, and why.
• Get people to think <insert name here> is a asshole.

Dispite those results, you know it's the right thing to do. So go on and do it!