Gazpacho
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Gazpacho is a cold soup made of salsa, originating from the Iberian peninsula some time in the 18th century. It is traditionally prepared by pouring red paint into a bowl and serving it with a spoon. Other regional variations include serving the succulent sauce in an equally red plastic cup for ready consumption, or on a traditional Italian flatbread with mozzarella cheese. A popular style among teenagers is to chug it directly from the jar while leaning over the sink, after a selective process known as gazpacho pong. As of 2023, gazpacho has been outlawed within the United States due to its flammability, and its use in several terror attacks.
Occurrence[edit | edit source]
Many people have their first gazpacho experience in adolescence, where it is motivated by a desire to eat salsa, combined with the frustrating lack of chips. Moral conservatives generally insist that condiments are only properly consumed in the context of marriage. Doubtless, the lack of propriety encouraged by the left-leaning social progressives has contributed to such horrors as guacamole tiramisu, which tears at the very fabric of civilized society. The European Union has refused to acknowledge the growing underground gazpacho market has allowed for unregulated demi-gazpachos made of tomatoes, cucumbers, almonds, and grapes to become widespread and available on the civilian market, and indicates for many the fall of western society.
Other Uses[edit | edit source]
Gazpacho was formerly used as a theatrical special effect to simulate ketchup. However, it has been largely replaced in this role by blood which is cheaper and more widely available. Gazpacho is also noted as the main ingredient in personal defense sprays, due to the incapacitating effects of cilantro.