HowTo:Fuck Tha Police

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Fuck tha police!


So yo is strolling wiv dat gangsta swag down da street, when yo see dem coppas coming from behind yo. Yo say to yo mate, "The fucking 5-0 are coming for us again!" He says "Fuck da police!" But exactly what da fuck is that motherfucker talking about? Well, since yo got da time to even be fucking reading dis shit, yo might as well find out! This shit ain't no long guide, but it's fucking good enough!

The Meaning Of 'Fuck The Police'[edit]

To fuck da police is to completely motherfucking ignore what da cops say, without getting yo ass shot up. Dere's three different ways of doing dis shit. Da first one is to fucking get yo ass outta there, da second one is to sweet-talk dose bitches, and da last one is to just fucking pop a cap in deir heads.

The Escape Method[edit]

Da moment yo hear dem sirens or see dem lights, yo get yo ass into da nearest safehouse ASAP. If yo ain't got a safehouse nearby, just fucking power-walk into da nearest alley. Yo wanna make sure yo ain't looking suspicious, cause if dose fuckers think yo is looking like a gangsta, dey is gonna pull yo ass over. If dat happens, try da next bit.

The Sweet-Talk Method[edit]

So dem fuckers pulled yo over. If yo ass is lucky, dey is gonna ask for some kind of ID. Ask them why da fuck they want ID. If dey say for possession of some shit yo don't even have, even if yo do, question dat shit. If yo do dis right, dey'll let yo ass of wiv a warning. If dat fails, try da next part.

The Bullet Through Their Brains Method[edit]

If da cops try and fucking arrest yo, yo pull out yo Magnum and shoot deir asses to kingdom come. Easy as fucking up da South Side. If yo is da South Side, change dat shit to da East Side. Don’t fucking tell me yo didn’t bring a damn gun. YO FUCKING WHAT?!?

If All Else Fails...[edit]

Get yo fat ass out of deir right now! Run like da fucking hurricane! Keep fucking going! RUN!!!

Yo lost dem? Good. KEEP FUCKING RUNNING!!!

Okay, now yo lost dem fuckers. Yo just got yoself higher up on da fucking blacklist than da fucking Empire State, but yo lost dem. Now, get yo fat ass back to dat job on top of dat Chinese on Kennedy Street.

See also[edit]

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