Fish in a bucket

There she is.

Fish in a bucket. Now inn’t that a purty sight.

There’s a lotta beautiful things in this world. Rainbows, purple trucks, cranberry jam, Pamela Anderson.

But nothing quite takes the cake like fish in a bucket. Now that’s a damn right thing of beauty.

You got yourself a bucket. You got yourself some fish. Put them together, and you’re square in the middle of heaven, brother.

Good times

Purty.

We’re talkin’ ‘bout some of the best memories of my childhood.

It was a bad day. It was rainin’ and I was soaked right down to my undershorts. I was thinkin’ “What’s next?” and thinkin’ probably ma’s brussel sprouts and even pa’s whoopin’.

But when I walk in I see this trail of grey, slippy ooze leadin’ to the kitchen. I goes to the kitchen and what do I see on the table. Fish in a bucket.

My mom says “Your sister and brothers are all out catchin’ critters in the field, and your dad won’t come back from the mill until late tonight. Go ahead. Its all yours.”

Well, you could dip me in clam juice and slap me on the backside cause I wouldn’t be just as happy as I was then.

A whole mess of glossy, shiny eyes lookin’ up at me. Sludge drizzlin’ down the sides. I stood up on my chair and just hovered over it for musta been hours.

I’d carry it just about everywhere, sloshin’ around. They’d say “Here he comes, that boy with them fish in a bucket.”

And I’d be like, “That’s me.”

Gift givin'

This sure is a nice pie....

....but it ain't got NOTHIN' on this!

Well, you can get it just about anywhere. All you need is some good fish and a good bucket. Then you wrap it up and give it to someone you got special.

I had been watchin’ her for three good years. I thought she was ‘bout more purty than a piece of pecan pie. That’s almost as purty as fish in a bucket.

I set it down and she’s like, ”Why’s it drippin?” and I says, “You’ll see!”
Well, then she opened it up.
The woman nearly woke the devil in hell, she screamed so loud.
She says “What in the HELL is this?” all dramatic-soundin’ like those actresses on tv.
“It’s fish in a bucket for God, Christ and Peter’s sakes” I say.

To this day I don’t know what that woman’s thinkin’.

Some people

Looks like somebody gone and doubled their pleasure.

• Some people try to dump the fish out into a pan and fry ‘em up. Now I gotta question their mental condition. They just gone and ruined their fish in a bucket.
• Some people are like, “What? What? It’s just some gosh durn fish in a bucket.” And I say “JUST some fish in a bucket?? What more do you want?”
• Some people say it's just some stinkin’ God-forsaken filth.

But its not nuthin' like that. It’s fish in a bucket.