Eileen Gray

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“Drama worthy* of my own works.”

~ Oscar Wilde on on modernism
Eileen Gray years later in the 70's. Yarrrrr!!!! (Note the stolen Picasso sculpture on the mantle place)

Eileen Gray (August 9, 1878 – October 31, 1976), a women who dabbled in things that only men should, in other words, a furniture designer and architect. What better way to describe her life and works then in the form of a DeviantART user. In this article you would find much drama, hacking, emo moments, and hot lesbian action. Well kind of, that was a lie, she was bi like all popular deviant art users. Want to learn how a uptight Edwardian girl turned into a pirate of modernism, how she managed to kill Le Corbusier? Then read on.

History[edit | edit source]

Eileen Gray grew tired of her mother coming home drunk and beating her up (She was born in Ireland, go fish), and moved to Paris in 1906 leaving her rich family behind. After she moved to Paris she created a DeviantART account (started designing furniture).

Her work was good, so good that she started getting many comments, fav's, and page hits. However this new popular anime (modernism) style was challenging her more traditional art style. She adopted the new style which was a big hit with her watchers, however Le Corbusier accused her of doing it wrong as her art (furniture) was too cute (comfy)

In 1926-28 she made her very first flash animation (house) called E-1027 - which happens to be some secret code which no one can crack, for her boyfriend Jean Badovici, who was best friends with Le Corbusier and the runner of a popular newsletter on DeviantART. The animation (house) was again a big hit for Eileen Gray, gaining her many page hits, fav's, and comments. Even Le Corbusier admitted to her his love of the animation (house) by a private PM to her.

Le Corbusier, naked showing his devotion to E-1027 (Note his droopy buttocks)
Fun game, spot the hidden Swastika

However Le Corbusier grew to be jealous of E-1027 and decided to show his admiration by painting some pro Nazi art on E-1027 in Eileen Gray's honor, thinking she should be honored that he did not charge as he normally does for commissions. As if this wasn't enough he decided to film his self naked painting and upload it to YouTube

Eileen Gray obviously got pissed off at him for doing this and moaning to her boy friend Badovici over MSN, and made him shout at Corbusier. Le Corbusier was equally pissed off by this and decided to add Eileen Gray to his ignore list (Really he spied on her with a fake account)

The drama continues[edit | edit source]

Think the drama ends there? Well you're mistaken, this story is going to go on all the way to Le Corbusier's death.

Still annoyed at Eileen Gray and jealous of E-1027, Le Corbusier decided to go and make two flash animations (houses) directly over viewing Gray's E-1027. Corbusier even admitted that it only took him a week or so to come up with the design of one of them.

By this point 4chan (Nazis) decided to hack Eileen Gray's account and delete fucking everything (burnt down her apartment). Eileen gray ran back to her account in Paris where she became a recluse for the rest of her life. She didn't show her work anymore and only did private commissions.

This all would have been very well for her apart from she didn't properly tag her work and had fallen into obscurity. E-1027 was now being credited as Le Corbusier's own work.

The revenge and her pirate years[edit | edit source]

This is where Eileen Gray began to kick ass and turn into some kind of pirate. In fact this article is going to stop talking in the terms of a DeviantART user because it is too cool for that and I can't be bothered.

It was the 70's, she was now in her 90's and losing her eyesight. What do most people do, stop working and wear sun glasses? Not Eileen Gray, she continued working and got a eye patch or wore glasses with one lens darkened out, how cools that?

By this point she had amassed a great fortune of furniture and art. She even stole a sculpture by Picasso which she proudly displayed on her mantle place. Her work became to be noticed again and she was rightly credited to E-1027, her furniture started to be re produced again. Whilst this funded her evil pirating schemes Eileen Gray was not really bothered, she only had her eyes set on one thing, killing Le Corbusier (Insert dramatic Dun Dun dunnnn sfx here)

On August 27, 1965 Le Corbusier decided to go out for a nice relaxing swim in the sea at Roquebrune-Cap-Martin in southern France, which happened to be right in front of Eileen Gray's E-1027. Like every day Corbuiser would go out for a swim to gaze upon E-1027 from the beach, the house that he could never have (He did try to purchase it but failed)

But what was that? Something was shining in his eyes from the house blinding him, there it was again! A mysterious figure was shining a mirror into his eyes. He splashed around blindly in the water before being submerged, had a heart attack and drowned.

Eileen Gray sent her faithful maid to go into the water and retrieve the body and dispose of it so it was never found.

Who won in the end? you decide.