DPP (company)

The Prague Public Transit Company (Dopravní podnik hl. m. Prahy, a.s. – DPP) is the main operator of public transportation in the capital, successfully combining delays, service interruptions, and corruption scandals into a perfectly synchronized chaos. It operates the metro, trams, buses, and occasionally even a trolleybus—when it’s not stuck in the depot due to a breakdown.

DPP also manages the city’s railways and two cable cars, which are the only transport facilities under its administration that have yet to spontaneously catch fire. Suburban bus lines are operated with the enthusiasm of a company that never really knows whether its vehicles will make it to the final stop.

The company proudly runs its own transportation high school, where young talents are trained in essential skills: ignoring passenger complaints, turning off depot cameras, and signing contracts with suppliers in the presence of a brown envelope. Employees have access to their own magazine, DP KONTAKT, where they can read about the latest service disruptions and tunnels flushed through questionable contracts.

DPP transports an average of 1.17 billion passengers per year, many of whom have lost their nerves and faith in public transport. Its fleet consists of over 1,100 buses, 850 trams, and 730 metro cars—at least half of which are either in service or on fire.

Historical milestones

Oooh yeaah

1) 19th Century – 1918

1875 – The Horsecar. A product of the capitalist exploitation machine—vehicles dragged by starving horses, meant for the lucky few who could afford it. Horses that couldn’t keep up were mercilessly slaughtered, and the city drowned in their excrement.

1891 – The first electric tram at the Exhibition in Holešovice. A glimpse of progress, soon to be shattered by crises and war.

1896 – The first regular electric tram. Capitalists rub their hands in glee—industrial growth, new ways to profit. The workers and their needs? Ignored, as always.

1914 – World War I. Prague is paralyzed by military convoys, trams run sporadically, and people are forced to walk to work. Public transport becomes a crowded, stinking hellscape.

2) 1918–1939

1925 – The Prague Public Transit Company (DPP) is founded. Finally, some order! But bureaucratic chaos continues to reign.

1936 – First metro proposals. Capitalists, of course, would rather pump their money into factories than public infrastructure.

1938 – The Munich Betrayal. Fear and uncertainty grip the city, and public transport is unable to cope with the growing movement of civilians and soldiers.

1939 – Occupation. Prague’s 136 km of tram lines fall into the hands of Nazi planners.

Definitely not inspired by US P.C.C trams...

3) 1939–1945

1939 – The Nazis impose their rule. Movement for Czechs is restricted, trams are crammed beyond capacity, and gasoline is reserved for Germans.

1941 – Jews are banned from trams. Public transport becomes a tool of racial oppression.

1943 – Sabotage operations. Czech resistance fighters deliberately damage tram engines and overhead lines. The Gestapo retaliates with executions.

1945 – Prague Uprising. Barricades made of destroyed trams, vehicles torn apart by machine gun fire, explosions in the streets. Several tram drivers are executed.

4) 1948–1989

1948 – Communists take over. Finally, capitalist incompetence is crushed, and massive urban transport expansion begins.

1951 – The first modern T1 tram. Cheap, efficient, accessible to all. The system thrives.

1959 – The trolleybus network reaches its peak. 140 vehicles in operation, a symbol of efficiency—until political pressure forces its destruction.

1967 – The total extermination of trolleybuses. The official excuse? "Modernization." The real reason? Oil and bus lobbies conspire to destroy one of the best transit systems.

1974 – Metro Line C opens. A true modernization of urban transport begins.

1978 – Metro Line A opens. Prague joins the ranks of world-class metropolises.

1985 – Metro Line B (Smíchov – Florenc) connects the system. Public transport finally works as it should.

Least damaged DPP bus in 90's

5) 1989–2000

1989 – Capitalist coup.

1991 – The first privatization of maintenance. The slow collapse begins.

1995 – The first low-floor bus (Karosa-Renault Citybus). A rare glimpse of progress.

1998 – Mass outsourcing and budget cuts in maintenance. Prague stops investing in infrastructure. The rot sets in.

6) 2000–2020

Least dangerous bus in Southern Prague

2002 – Opencard disaster. An overpriced, nonsensical electronic ticket project—pure theft in broad daylight.

2010 – DPP drowns in corruption scandals. Transparency? Accountability? Dead and buried.

2015 – “Electric buses” – a PR stunt. A pathetic distraction from catastrophic mismanagement.

2018 – Trolleybuses are tested – after 50 years of absence. A confession of failure disguised as innovation.

7) 2023 and beyond?

2023 – Trolleybuses return! After 56 years, Line 58 (Letňany – Palmovka) is revived.

Future expansion plans? A quiet, reluctant admission that socialist transport planning was more efficient than today’s capitalist chaos.

Depots

Bus Garages

Dejvice Garage († 2004, Prague 6)

Dejvice, once a noble district with embassies, witnessed the slow death of one of the most significant bus depots in the city's history. This was where Ikarus and Karosa buses rested, where the history of public transport was written. But then came privatization, financial tunnels, budget cuts, and all that remains today is a crumbling complex where the homeless play at being bus drivers, and local kids hear eerie metal screeches at night.

Klíčov Garage (since 1973, Prague 9)

In the north of Prague, there's a vast nothing. Fields, highways, and the forgotten Prosek housing estate. Amidst all this stands the Klíčov garage, the last bastion of bus transport. After a night shift, drivers walk straight into the fields because there's simply nowhere else to go. Urban legends claim that some Karosa buses from the 1980s are still lost somewhere in the garage, with mechanics searching for them in vain for the past three decades.

Libeň Garage († early 90s, Prague 8)

Libeň – now a hipster paradise, once an industrial hell filled with factories and concrete. One of the city's main bus depots used to stand here, but after the revolution, someone decided Libeň no longer needed a garage. It was converted into luxury offices, which no one works in—because no one voluntarily goes to Libeň.

Vršovice Garage (since 1955, Prague 10)

Vršovice – a mix of artists, hipsters, and old residents still waiting for their neighborhood to turn into another Karlín. In the meantime, one of the last functioning bus garages still stands here, fighting every day to get the buses out on the streets. The local mechanics are either miracle engineers or black magicians, because keeping 30-year-old Karosas running is no longer a matter of technology but of ritual sacrifice involving the last remaining spare parts.

Kačerov Garage (since 1966, Prague 4)

South Prague, a place where bus drivers and mechanics have long since stopped pretending. Kačerov is a dark pit where buses are not only repaired but also die. Night shifts allegedly involve blood rituals where drivers swear loyalty to the Public Transport Company in exchange for their bus starting in the morning. If it doesn’t? It disappears. Completely. Where did the old Ikaruses go? No one knows.

Pankrác Garage († 1980s, Prague 4)

Pankrác – a city of skyscrapers and corporate slaves. A once-famous bus garage stood here, but in the 80s, they shut it down because it was "in the way." Today, no buses stop here—only lost souls who forgot to get off in time.

Hostivař Garage (since 1994, Prague 15)

When you run out of space anywhere else, you build a garage in Hostivař. This is where buses end up when no one else wants them. This is where night routes are born that should never have existed. If a driver disappears, it's probably because the last broken-down SOR bus swallowed them forever.

Řepy Garage (since 1982, Prague 6)

Řepy is a strange place. On one side, you have nice villas, on the other, neglected housing projects where even buses are afraid to stop. The garage has been here since the 80s, still haunted by the ghosts of old Ikaruses. The drivers who survive here are either top professionals or madmen who fear nothing.

Trolleybus Garages

Klíčov Garage (since 2017, Prague 9)

Northern Prague has decided to revive trolleybuses. The problem? No one remembers how to operate them. Every morning at Klíčov, a bizarre ritual takes place—mechanics trying to figure out how to raise the poles onto the wires while drivers desperately search for the manual.

Řepy Garage (since 2024, Prague 6)

An experiment: what if we tried modern trolleybuses? The reality? Most of them either don’t work or end up in the service hall before they even hit the streets.

Tram Depots

Hloubětín (since 1951, Prague 9)

Another tram fortress in the wastelands of northern Prague. If a tram gets lost here, it’s never coming back.

Kobylisy (since 1930, Prague 8)

Where trams train for the brutal terrain of the Bohnice housing estate. Not all return. Maybe two gangsters with an assault rifle and a grenade will attack you.

Motol (since 1937, Prague 5)

An old depot that has survived everything. Perhaps because trams here learn to move through Prague like tanks.

Pankrác (since 1929, Prague 4)

The southern part of Prague needs trams, but it doesn’t always want them to return.

Strašnice (since 1908, Prague 10)

The oldest tram depot. Experience? Yes. Spare parts? Not anymore.

Střešovice (museum, Prague 6)

Historical trams, historical problems.

Vokovice (since 1939, Prague 6)

Where trams learn to survive the battlefield that is Evropská street.

Žižkov (since 1912, Prague 3)

The border between a civilized city and anarchy. Trams here learn to navigate between drunks and delivery vans.

Metro Depots

Kačerov (border of Michle and Záběhlice, Prague 4)

Metro line C starts and ends here. And sometimes, people disappear inside.

Hostivař (Strašnice, Prague 15)

The final stop for metro trains—and some employees.

Zličín (border of Zličín and Třebonice, Prague 13)

The last hope for western Prague. At least you’re near the airport.

Infrastructure

Trams

No	Route	Distance	Travel Time	Essential Gear	What to Expect
1	Sídliště Petřiny – Výstaviště	58 km	3 hours – 2 days	FFP3 respirator, bare hands for seat fights, poison capsule for emergencies	Someone will scream at you for stepping on their dog, while a homeless guy pisses directly onto the seat next to you.
2	Sídliště Petřiny – Nádraží Braník	62 km	3.5 hours – 5 days	Raincoat against unknown fluids, taser for violent pensioners	If you don’t mind a 120-person shared sauna, you might actually enjoy it.
3	Levského – Kobylisy	70 km	4 hours – 7 days	Energy bars, pepper spray, iron patience	Doesn't run outside peak hours. Which means when you actually need it, you might as well throw yourself under a metro.
4	Slivenec – Kubánské náměstí	55 km	3 hours – 2 weeks	Drone for scouting free seats, gas mask	Operates only on weekdays. If you need to escape this hellhole on a Saturday, tough luck.
5	Slivenec – Vozovna Žižkov	80 km	5 hours – 14 days	A month’s worth of food, military sleeping bag, signal flares	Enter this tram, and you might never leave.
6	Nádraží Holešovice – Kubánské náměstí	65 km	4 hours – 6 days	Night vision for underpass scouting, firearm	Enjoy the sights of dingy bars, warm embraces of pickpockets, and junkies passed out on benches.
7	Radlická – Lehovec	75 km	4.5 hours – 9 days	Hammer for breaking windows in case of crash, decontamination spray	Perfect for those who love the aroma of old panel buildings and the feeling of sitting in someone else's feces.
8	Nádraží Podbaba – Starý Hloubětín	90 km	5 hours – 14 days	Ballistic vest, antidote for unidentified fumes	The Middle Ages are back. Money won’t help you here—only pure, raw survival instincts.
9	Sídliště Řepy – Spojovací	120 km	6 hours – 3 months	Field kitchen, hunting knife, steel nerves	Tram occasionally teleports into another dimension where passengers are insane and the driver has no brakes.
10	Sídliště Řepy – Sídliště Ďáblice	140 km	7 hours – 5 years	Flamethrower, boots for toxic waste, air filter	Travels through places even Google Maps refuses to acknowledge.
11	Spořilov – Spojovací	110 km	6 hours – 7 days	Buckshot rounds for aggressive passengers, emergency parachute	You might step out into the future. Or into another city. Don’t question it—just go with the flow.
12	Sídliště Barrandov – Lehovec	150 km	7.5 hours – 10 years	Tent, week’s supply of food, bulletproof helmet	Never runs when you need it. When it does, it rarely ends up where it's supposed to.
22	Bílá Hora – Nádraží Hostivař	160 km	8 hours – 12 years	Samurai sword for self-defense, flamethrower for tram vermin	The most overcrowded tram in Prague. If you think your mental state is strong enough, come and destroy yourself.
26	Dědina – Nádraží Hostivař	170 km	8.5 hours – 15 years	Medical kit, helicopter for emergency evacuation	If you board this tram, you’ll likely never see your family again.

Buses

No.	Route	Distance (km)	Travel Time	Avg. Speed (km/h)	Stops	Survival Chance (%)	Essential Gear	Special Threat
100	Zličín – Václav Havel Airport	17 km	45 min – 3 hours	15 km/h	12	85 %	Gas mask, GPS in case of disappearance	A man claims to be a pilot and plans to take the bus as his plane.
119	Nádraží Veleslavín – Airport	10 km	30 min – 2 days	10 km/h	10	90 %	Helmet, flares, emergency parachute	Someone left a suitcase. Nobody knows what's inside.
125	Skalka – Smíchovské nádraží	23 km	1 hour – 5 days	7 km/h	20	75 %	Field kitchen, sleeping bag	The driver is rally racing, and there's a drunk passenger with 5.0‰ BAC.
136	Vozovna Kobylisy – Sídliště Čakovice	33 km	1.5 hours – 10 years	5 km/h	28	60 %	Oxygen supply, flashlight for blackouts	You wait 20 minutes—then 3 buses arrive at once, all of them full.
140	Palmovka – Miškovice	28 km	2 hours – eternity	3 km/h	25	40 %	Swimsuit, inflatable raft	You sink into traffic and age into dust.
167	Na Knížecí – Nemocnice Motol	15 km	40 min – 6 years	4 km/h	15	95 %	Sedative supply, riot shield against insane stroller moms	The hospital might admit you immediately.
177	Chodov – Poliklinika Mazurská	37 km	2 hours – 30 years	4 km/h	32	30 %	Flamethrower, diving suit	Lights go out in the tunnel, the driver panics and flees.
191	Airport – Na Knížecí	35 km	1.5 hours – 15 years	2.5 km/h	30	20 %	Food rations, camping gear	The bus is highly flammable.
200	Nádraží Holešovice – Sídliště Bohnice	29 km	2 hours – 8 days	3 km/h	27	50 %	Armor, taser, close-combat skills	A trip to Bohnice may not be accidental.
235	Smíchovské nádraží – Lipence	40 km	2.5 hours – 50 years	1.8 km/h	35	10 %	Satellite phone, emergency rocket flare	The driver gets lost, and you must colonize a new land.
501	The Night Bus That Never Arrives	??? km	??? hours – eternity	??? km/h	???	0 %	N/A	Some say they once saw it pass. But it was just a shadow.
511	The Loop of Hell Around Prague	180 km	12 hours – 60 years	You’ll never know	???	0 %	N/A	The driver disappears, and so do you.

Metro

Line A

Station	Survival Rate (Citizen)	Survival Rate (Tourist)	Survival Rate (US)	What Awaits You	Nearby Attractions	Image
Depo Hostivař	95% (nothing here)	30% (you get lost)	5% (steal rails, get hit by a train)	A wasteland of sheet metal, junkies from the bus terminal	DPP garages, OC Europark, concrete Mordor
Skalka	90% (yelled at by pensioners)	20% (kicked to death by slippers)	2% (attempting English = death)	Panel block misery, angry old men in Lidl	Local trash-tier Kaufland, cemetery, brothel
Strašnická	85% (used to suffering)	15% (you won’t fit in)	1% (shut up, don’t speak)	Desolate, grim, life here died in the '90s	Old Strašnice, crematorium, void
Želivského	80% (tough life training)	10% (foreigners won’t understand)	0% (arrival = immediate death)	A metro station embodying depression	Cemeteries, Olšany, crematorium
Flora	95% (posh hipsters ignore you)	40% (shopping mode)	10% (they think it’s "cute")	Hipsters, cafés, massive crowds	Atrium Flora mall, Vinohrady, overpriced food
Jiřího z Poděbrad	97% (expensive apartments, peace)	50% (decent survival odds)	20% (you’ll barely make it)	Bio vegans, startups, kids on skateboards	Church, farmers' markets, cultural bubble
Muzeum	85% (crowds will grind you down)	25% (capitalism will devour you)	5% (exchange dollars = get scammed)	Chaos, tourists, confused Americans	Wenceslas Square, fast food, pickpockets
Můstek	80% (you might survive)	20% (you disappear into crowds)	2% (someone scams you)	Confusion, drug users, constant yelling	Wenceslas Square, Palladium, The Escalator of Death
Staroměstská	85% (tourists annoy you)	5% (they rob you)	0% (you fall for a scam)	Pimps, scammers, stinking fast food joints	Old Town Square, Astronomical Clock, old folks photographing trams
Malostranská	95% (relaxing vibes)	30% (guided tourists)	5% (taxi driver overcharges you)	Historic charm, but outrageously expensive	Lesser Town, Charles University campus, drunk American students
Hradčanská	98% (calm, peaceful)	40% (tourists arrive by accident)	15% (you loiter near the castle)	Trams, quiet, greenery	Prague Castle, Letná, General Staff HQ
Dejvická	99% (student paradise)	50% (Erasmus kids)	30% (you might not get robbed)	Cafés, universities, lots of expats	CTU, Stromovka Park, airport bus
Bořislavka	90% (rich people’s enclave)	25% (they look at you weird)	3% (prepare for your golden coffin)	The local rich stare right through you	Villas, offices, peaceful monotony
Nádraží Veleslavín	85% (train station = peasant land)	10% (you just want to leave)	1% (carry luggage up the stairs, have a heart attack)	Suicidal airport transfer, angry passengers	Airport bus, grim train station, housing blocks
Petřiny	92% (no real issues)	35% (just boring)	15% (you survive, but die of boredom)	Silence, panel blocks, nobody talks to you	Housing estate, stillness, bleak monotony
Nemocnice Motol	50% (you’re either a doctor or a patient)	5% (you wake up post-surgery)	0% (have you heard of Czech healthcare?)	Smell of disinfectant, human wreckage, Escape Room: Find the Right Pavilion	Largest hospital in Czechia, place of final rest

Line B

Station	Survival Rate	Survival Rate (Tourist)	Survival Rate (Americans)	What Awaits You	Nearby Attractions	Image
Černý Most	85% (rough housing blocks, but you’ll adapt)	10% (you can’t find an exit)	0% (bad neighborhood, buddy)	Lowlifes, junkies, despair in the eyes of locals	Endless concrete jungle, Globus, sketchy 24/7 stores
Rajská zahrada	90% (Mordor-lite)	15% (confused looks)	2% (the kebab stench gets you)	A mix of calm and weirdness	Interesting architecture, but still hell
Hloubětín	80% (estate gangs, pretend you don’t exist)	5% (run instantly)	0% (bleeding out in a puddle guaranteed)	Junkies, stench, life gone wrong	Ugly panel houses, some shops, stay away
Kolbenova	70% (factory boomers survive here)	3% (you have no idea what’s happening)	0% (someone sells you for organs)	Abandoned factories, eerie vibes	Old industrial hellscape, concrete, despair
Vysočanská	85% (you’ll manage, but it sucks)	10% (lost in metal garages)	0% (dead in 2 hours max)	Housing estates, hordes of people, shady alleys	Decent Fénix mall, but the rest is misery
Českomoravská	90% (O2 Arena is your salvation)	25% (safe until robbed)	5% (you stink and don’t know why)	Overpriced events, massive crowds, beer for 90 CZK	O2 Arena, Harfa Mall, pure chaos during concerts
Palmovka	60% (death is part of daily life)	5% (if you’re not beaten immediately, you have a chance)	0% (the casino swallows you whole)	Ghetto, homeless people, bottom-tier pubs	Junkies, 24/7 gambling dens, murders in the news
Invalidovna	85% (new buildings improve survival odds)	15% (you won’t fit in, but okay)	5% (say “Invalidovna” wrong = get punched)	Construction sites, occasional junkie	Karlín, corporate offices, slowly improving
Křižíkova	95% (hipsters and cafés shield you)	40% (Erasmus kids thrive here)	10% (overpriced coffee drains you financially)	Startup hub, café chill	Karlín, luxury flats, gentrification apocalypse
Florenc	70% (you’ll survive, but hate it)	5% (bus station thugs eat you alive)	0% (speak English = thrown into a van)	Chaos, homeless people, drug deals in broad daylight	Main bus station, pickpockets, filth
Náměstí Republiky	85% (crowded but survivable)	15% (scam every 10 minutes)	2% (pay with card = disappear)	Tourists, overpriced stores, soul-crushing concrete	Palladium, Dlouhá street, Christmas shopping hell
Můstek	80% (chaos, but at least it’s familiar)	20% (lost in the crowds)	2% (somebody scams you)	Confusion, drug addicts, screaming everywhere	Wenceslas Square, Palladium, The Escalator of Death
Národní třída	95% (hipster paradise, peaceful)	50% (expensive but decent)	20% (outrageous beer prices bankrupt you)	Cafés, boutique stores, culture overdose	Quadrio, luxury restaurants, overpriced cappuccino
Karlovo náměstí	75% (junkies leave you alone if you don’t wake them up)	10% (avoid sitting on a needle, and you’re fine)	0% (thrown into van #2)	Park full of hobos, psychiatric hospital full of lunatics	Park, polyclinic, rich lawyers & filth
Anděl	95% (modern business haven)	40% (safe in the mall, nowhere else)	15% (don’t try to say “Anděl”)	Shopping malls, corporate zombies	Nový Smíchov, swarms of people, chaos
Smíchovské nádraží	50% (leave before it’s too late)	2% (foreigner = instant prey)	0% (the train to Zličín never arrives)	Squalor, degenerates, 24/7 gambling pits	Train station, casinos, drugs, stench, despair
Radlická	98% (peaceful, quiet)	50% (probably just passing through)	25% (no clue where you are)	Clean, empty, uneventful	Nothing here, but you’ll live
Jinonice	97% (boring but safe)	45% (you survive, but die of boredom)	20% (you have no idea what to do here)	Silent residential blocks, absolute dullness	Nature, boredom, no real threats
Nové Butovice
Hůrka
Lužiny
Luka
Stodůlky	99% (housing estate tranquility)	60% (if not lost, you’re okay)	30% (you survive, but why are you here?)	Apartment blocks, families, no action whatsoever	Nature, new flats, zero excitement
Zličín	99% (malls protect you from danger)	70% (you’ll manage)	40% (still doomed by KFC)	IKEA, shopping paradise	Shopping centers, airport nearby, occasional hobos

Line C

Station	Survival (citizens)	Survival (tourists)	Survival (Americans)	How You Die	What Awaits You	Local Curses	Image
Letňany	80% (too empty to kill you)	30% (wander too far, cease to exist)	5% (bored to death before finding the exit)	Suffocates from pure emptiness	A cursed expo, a void of nothingness	The mall never opened. It calls to you.
Prosek	75% (you survive but become clinically depressed)	15% (existential crisis sets in)	0% (gang of elderly ladies executes you for fun)	Stabbed by a grandma with a Lidl bag	Infinite grey blocks, brutalist terror	Every road leads back to where you started.
Střížkov	85% (you live, but your mind doesn’t)	20% (forgets identity upon arrival)	0% (falls through the backrooms of reality)	Froze mid-step, lost in liminal space	A sci-fi station that bends time	This isn’t a metro stop. This is a simulation glitch.
Ládví	70% (survival depends on speed)	10% (reality blinks, you’re gone)	0% (licks a handrail, evaporates)	Beaten for smiling at the wrong person	80s concrete horror	Junkies levitating, haunted bars
Kobylisy	65% (life expectancy shortens instantly)	5% (you are perceived = you are dead)	0% (dies as part of a TikTok challenge)	Dragged into another dimension by local teens	An eternal dusk over concrete wasteland	No one makes it past the deadly crosswalk.
Nádraží Holešovice	50% (only if you can hold your breath)	2% (suffocates on pure despair)	-10000% (cracks neck upon stepping outside)	Mysteriously harvested for organs	The smell. The filth. The death.	The shadows here have teeth.
Vltavská	35% (sprinting required)	1% (no one finds the body)	-500000% (spontaneously combusts upon arrival)	Disassembled by junkie demigods	Spikes, syringes, cryptid-infested tunnels	If you hear a whisper, it’s already too late.
Florenc	40% (never stop moving)	1% (NPCs turn aggressive)	-∞% (respawns as a ghost NPC)	Stolen piece by piece and sold on the dark web	Human cattle, a crime-ridden dystopia	Someone offers you a kidney. It’s yours.
Hlavní nádraží	20% (abandon all hope)	0.5% (becomes a local legend)	-999999% (converted into pure suffering)	Shanked, mugged, resurrected, shanked again	Literal hell, pure chaos	Every crime at once, one dude peeing on everything
Muzeum	85% (if you don’t breathe)	10% (tourist biomass absorbs you)	0% (takes one selfie, never seen again)	Chokes on overpriced hot dog	Pickpockets, overpriced everything	Václavák is a black hole. No escape.
I. P. Pavlova	55% (only if you stay in the middle of the road)	5% (wrong turn = instant deletion)	-100000% (climbs into an illegal taxi, vanishes forever)	Disappears inside a gambling den	Smell of despair, neon-lit suffering	The street food will kill you. It’s worth it.
Vyšehrad	70% (but you won’t like it)	20% (legs give out before reaching safety)	5% (wanders into history, never comes back)	Perishes halfway up the stairs	A cursed silence, haunted by whispers	Time moves slower here.
Pražského povstání	60% (you exist, but wish you didn’t)	10% (mystically lost forever)	2% (dies upon seeing a Czech price tag)	Beaten to death for asking “Is English okay?”	Brutalist limbo, occasional violence	The pavement smells like old beer and regret.
Pankrác	80% (capitalist death, but safer)	25% (too rich to be attacked)	10% (financially murdered first)	Buys overpriced sushi, dies instantly	Cold corporate wasteland	Every glass building is filled with soulless entities.
Budějovická	85% (alive, but dead inside)	30% (wanders into an office, never leaves)	15% (dies from overpriced coffee, not crime)	Bored to death before reaching exit	A corporate limbo, infinite work meetings	Office workers have lost their will to live.
Kačerov	60% (you survive, but at what cost?)	10% (teleports into nonexistence)	5% (body never found)	Dragged into a bus depot, disappears forever	Dust, diesel, forgotten history	The buses are watching. And waiting.
Roztyly	75% (an unexpected break from hell)	20% (still kinda cursed)	5% (accidentally enters the forest, never exits)	Stumbles into the void	Unsettlingly quiet, something isn’t right	A business park that should not exist.
Chodov	85% (protected by the almighty mall)	35% (capitalism saves you)	20% (first moment of clarity in Prague)	Dies of LED overexposure	A consumerist hellscape	Too many shops. Not enough exits.
Opatov	70% (barely holding on)	10% (wrong turn = eternal limbo)	0% (turns into missing persons report)	Absorbed by a haunted panelák	An urban graveyard, frozen in time	The locals whisper about “the ones who vanished.”
Háje	60% (last stop, last hope)	5% (physically disintegrates)	-1000000% (erased from history)	Never finds an exit, never seen again	The final level of reality, all hope is lost	No one leaves Háje. Ever.

Fleet

Buses

Type	Years of Delivery	Origin	Number of Buses	Seats / Standing	What Awaits You	Image
Irisbus Crossway LE 12,8M	2012–2013	Czech Republic	2	45 / 40	Stench, elderly battle royale for seats, chaotic school trips.
SOR NB 12	2009–2021	Czech Republic	463	33 / 69	Eternal traffic jam, sauna in summer, freezer in winter, blocked by mom armies.
SOR NB 18	2010–2021	Czech Republic	444	46 / 110	Violence escalates, accordion-playing hobo, public transport hell level 100.
SOR BN 8,5	2013	Czech Republic	4	23 / 42	A bus for hobbits, claustrophobia, every ride is trauma.
SOR BN 12	2012, 2018–2019	Czech Republic	51	33 / 64	Forced contact with strangers, sweat, moans, unwanted eye contact.
Solaris Urbino 8,9 LE	2012–2015	Poland	40	21 / 40	Short, packed, hopeless. Smells bad. Just walk instead.
Iveco Crossway LE CITY 12M	2017	Czech Republic	1	45 / 42	There’s only one. If you see it, buy a lottery ticket – you’re lucky.
Iveco Crossway LE CITY 13M	2016	Czech Republic	2	49 / 46	Aisle narrower than your future, permanent overcrowding.
Iveco Crossway LE CITY 14,5M	2020, 2023	Czech Republic	9	55 / 50	Long, but smells like a dead ferret, your foot gets crushed by a stroller.
Solaris Urbino 10,5	2020–2021	Poland	40	29 / 50	New, but the driver will still yell at you for existing.
SOR NS 18	2021	Czech Republic	1	42 / 120	Experimental horror. Might disassemble mid-ride.
Škoda 36BB (electric bus)	2022	Türkye/Czech Republic	14	35 / 55	Silent electric bus, so you can hear the driver’s insults. Pretends to be eco-friendly. with Turkish bodywork.
Iveco Streetway 18M	2023–2024	Türkye/ Czech Republic	51	45 / 120	Modern hell, automatic doors will crush your hand. By the way, these buses are assembled in Turkey.
Iveco Streetway 12M	2023–2024		52	35 / 70
SOR ICN 9,5	2023	Czech Republic	20	26 / 40	Small, awful, feels like the bus version of a coma.
Iveco Urbanway 18M Hybrid	2024		19	40 / 100	Tries to be eco-friendly, but still stinks. Hybrid, but still garbage.
TOTAL	1210				Never board unless absolutely necessary.

Trams:

Type	Variants & Subtypes	Bi-directional?	Fleet Numbers	Depots	In Service	Year of delivery	Capacity	What Awaits You	Image
Tatra T3	T3M, T3SU, T3R.P, T3R.PV, T3R.PLF	❌ No	67xx–69xx (scrapped), 7001–7292, 8005–8554	Hloubětín, Pankrác, Strašnice, Kobylisy, Vokovice, Žižkov	426	1962 - 1988	100–120 people	A bone-shattering relic, the driver despises you, suspension screaming for mercy.
Tatra KT8D5	KT8D5R.N2P	✅ Yes	9001–9048 → modernized 9051–9097	Hloubětín	52	1986 - 1990	200 people	Half hell, half museum, smells bad on both ends.
Škoda 14T	-	❌ No	9111–9170	Kobylisy	55	2005 - 2009	210 people	Random failures, jerky motion, the engine makes demonic noises.
Škoda 15T	15T4 (15T Alfa)	❌ No	9201–9325, 9326–9450	Pankrác, Vokovice, Motol, Žižkov	250	2009 - present	220 people	Newer, but not better. Every turn is a near-death experience.
TOTAL	783

Metro:

Type	In Service Since	Lines	Number of Cars	Number of Trainsets	Train Length	Capacity	Max Acceleration	Manufacturer / Modernization	What to expect	Image
Metro M1	2000	C	265	53	96.66 m	1,464 human wrecks	1.3 m/s²	ČKD Praha, ADtranz, Siemens	Is it fast? Yes. Comfortable? Not even remotely. It reeks of sweat, broken dreams, and cheap perfume. Sit down, and you'll catch at least three STDs. Stand up, and you'll get unwanted intimacy with a sweaty neck belonging to someone who hasn’t seen a shower since 2012.
☭ 81-71M	1996	A, B	465	93	96.11 m	1,464 lost souls	1.3 m/s²	Škoda Transportation, ČKD/Metrowagomash	A Soviet coffin on rails. The engine roars like a dying bear, and the interior resembles a KGB torture chamber. If a foreigner enters, they won’t make it out. If an American enters, they vanish into the hellish void between cars.

Culture of travelling

Every time you step into a tram, metro, or bus, it’s like playing Russian roulette—you never know what’s going to hit you first. Will it be the stench of rotting flesh from the homeless guy in the corner? The intoxicating cocktail of sweat and alcohol from a group of drunks? Or the festering remains of someone’s last meal decaying in the corner of the car? Some metro trains are so damp and musty that they could double as horror movie sets about haunted, abandoned death wagons.

Buses? In winter, they’re heated so much that people start sweating in places they didn’t even know they had. In summer, they turn into mobile crematoriums where the only way out is heatstroke.

Violence, Psychos, and Deranged NPCs

Public transport at night? That’s a real-life survival horror. Running into an aggressive bum who suddenly decides you owe him a cigarette? Happens daily. Drunken maniacs treating the tram like a wrestling ring, throwing punches at random passengers just for fun? Standard procedure. And let’s not forget the pinnacle of Prague’s "culture"—a gang of teenagers who think the entire train needs to hear their shitty music, or worse, pick the weakest passenger in the car as their personal punching bag.

Then there are the perverts. Everyone in Czechia heard of Metro Julča—the woman who had the right to sit, shout on other passengers, and be extremely aggressive.

Then you've got the creepy old men pressing up against women in packed carriages, the wide-eyed lunatics staring at your lap, and the straight-up lunatics who think public transport is their personal red-light district. Sometimes, the entire vehicle turns into an impromptu freakshow, complete with NPCs offering you substances you’d rather not touch—because what’s a metro ride without some cracked-out junkie asking if you’ve got a line to spare?

Also, do not forget the occasional skinhead choir breaking out in Nazi salutes mid-ride. Because, apparently, in the jungle of public transport, anything goes.

Delays, Cancellations, and a One-Way Ticket to Nowhere

Got somewhere to be? Haha, that’s cute. DPP (Prague Public Transport) will always make sure you don’t get there on time. Trams will get you halfway before suddenly announcing, “End of the line, now get lost.” Metro? “Unexpected incident on the tracks”—which, translated, means someone jumped in front of the train, or the ancient Soviet-era piece of junk simply gave up on life.

Buses? At this point, they don’t even follow schedules—they operate based on planetary alignment. If you’re unlucky, you’ll wait so long for your ride that your ID will expire in the meantime. And when the bus finally shows up, it’s so packed that getting on is like being sucked into a black hole—once you're in, there's no escape.

Fare Inspectors – The Mafia of Prague Public Transport

Just when you think it can’t get any worse, the fare inspectors show up. These guys blend in like regular passengers until the doors shut—then, in a split second, they transform into predatory beasts, scanning the crowd for their next victim. If you have a ticket, they might let you live. If not, congratulations—you’re about to experience psychological warfare.

Best case scenario? You get slapped with a ridiculous fine and an arrogant smirk. Worst case? They make you feel like you just robbed a bank. And if you’re stupid enough to run, be prepared for an all-out chase scene, complete with death stares and a determination that makes you question whether they’re actually secret agents in training.

Allies

None

Enemies

Swifties

Americans

Asians

Africans

Jews

See also

Prague

Public transport