Credit Card Model of Physics

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Stolen.jpg
Visa
American Express
MasterCard
Discover

The Credit Card Model of Physics was developed in the 1950s to explain away discrepancies in something from something something experimental evidence something of something to something therefore reconciling observational something with something for something, for now.

Generally accepted, there are four basic forces.

Subatomic Structure[edit | edit source]

There are numerous particles, such as USDs (United States Dollarons), Eurons, United Kingdom Poundons, and Japanese Yenons, which are mitigated and affected by these four fources. Numerous other particles such as Pesons, Wons and Yuons abound. However, the chance of a significant quantity of non-virtual particles spontaneously appearing is, regretably, very small. For example, Fourmilab once found 5 unclaimed United States Dollarons and immediately picked them off the lab floor.

Generally, the Law of the Conservation of Energy must be adhered to, in which the creation of particles cannot happen without expending work. In fact, many heat engines run half their entire active periods just to create a barely self-sustaining number of particles! Some physicists are bad and lazy.

Visa[edit | edit source]

Visa has ugly colors, ubiquitous, though it's most popular, and has a bland mee-too kindof taste.

American Express[edit | edit source]

American Express is a more refined green flavored force, though it has some shades of blue. It is crunchy, and favored by those with many particles.

MasterCard[edit | edit source]

MasterCard is a separated red/yorange flavor, with some blending in between, making it similar to Discovery Force.

Discover[edit | edit source]

Discover, though originally black-backed, now sports a distinctive orange taste. It is found on the tops of prominent tall buildings universewide.

10-43 seconds after the Big Bang, all money, force, time, energy, matter and forces were combined into one huge superforce, known as the Grand Unified Force, or GUF. Until now, a Grand Unified Theory is the only thing able to describe them, known as GUT.

After the whole thing in which Microsoft took-over the universe, it was decided that no one force should be powerful enough to rule the universe. Therefore, it was decided that there will be four, equal, forces.

Thereafter, the Vistercover Force separated from the American Express Force, allowing for class differences. Then the Visa Force and the MasterCover Force separated too, allowing for international travel. Finally, the MasterCard Force became independent, thus allowing slavery.

Totally Neccessary Stuff[edit | edit source]

Charges for Taxes and Service Fees In connection with facilitating your hotel transaction, the charge to your debit or credit card will include a charge for Taxes and for Service Fees. This charge includes an estimated amount to recover the amount we pay to the hotel in connection with your reservation for taxes owed by the hotel including, without limitation, sales and use tax, occupancy tax, room tax, excise tax, value added tax and/or other similar taxes. The amount paid to the hotel in connection with your reservation for taxes may vary from the amount we estimate and include in the charge to you. This charge also includes an amount to cover service costs we incur in connection with handling your reservation. The charge for Taxes and Service Fees varies based on a number of factors including, without limitation, the amount we pay the hotel and the location of the hotel where you will be staying, and may include profit that we retain.

We are not the vendor collecting and remitting taxes to the applicable taxing authorities. Our hotel suppliers, as vendors, include all applicable taxes in the amount billed to us and we pay over such amounts directly to the vendors. We are not a co-vendor associated with the vendor with whom we book or reserve our customer's travel arrangements. Taxability and the appropriate tax rate and the type of applicable taxes vary greatly by location blah blah blah basically we write all this crap to confuse any poor bastard that is stupid enough to use one of our cards, enabling us to charge you randomly including when, but not limited to, we see fit. Profits extracted both fairly and unfairly will be used to buy gold yachts. You didn't read that.