Cascada
“I would rather staple my bollocks to the back of my arse than listen to this bint whine...”
Cascada is a German Eurodance act most famous for their hit singles "Everytime We Touch", "What Burned The Toast?", and "Evacuate the Dancefloor".
So called popular euro-dance and pop singer, Lead Singer Natalie Horler is actually a guy who got a sex change so he could become a lesbian (this back fired as doctors found out she actually was a girl). Cascada and other "hit" European groups, such as DHT, use their music in an attempt to fulfill their sexual desires. This is similar to the methods used in Pokemon games.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Born in Bonerschnitzel, Germany, under an English household, Horler first became in love with a sex maniac. Though advised against the move by her better peers, the future slut became attached. Though the boy had cool looking clothes and exotic B.O., he lacked the trueness the wet girl desired. He used her badly from behind a statue. Heartbroken by the move (moves), the girl wrote her first song Miracle, becoming a big hit.
Later, Cascada became entrenched with a young, blond, parted hair guy who liked hard core. He left her quickly as he desired a more freaky women because everyone knows; they are more adequate for Nazis.
Cascada then went from one person to another, becoming hornier and hornier and wetter and wetter. she lived in the name of her never ending wet dream but sadly her drem was never fulfilled.
The now slut did indeed like one innocent childrens' book called Peter Pan. Like him,she never grew up. 8====D--(.)(.)
Developing Musical Mind Control[edit | edit source]
With the power to start a global empire at hand, Natalie decided that she needed to develop mind control devices to feed her sexual desire. She started immediately by making a potion that out of gummie bears, bubble gum, spunk and slang, that would give her the perfect effect. This formula was found to be a success seeing as testing led to the control of all Germans, bunnies, butterflies, turtles, and hookers. The only problem was that she could not write songs of such supreme awesomeness to air on the radio so she turned to Mr. T to be taught the ways of the porn. The trianing lasted five months involving rapid and often fanny upsets. After that she moved on to writing the song "Everytime We touch".
World Domination[edit | edit source]
About one month after developing her ultimate super weapon Natalie would change her name to Cascada so nobody could see into real identity and stop the song from airing in Europe. Within a days time the song had taken a grip on all of Europe, Mexico, Africa, East Virginia, Canada, and Africa. The song nearly aired in China but was stopped because the song was in english and not understandable to the Chinese. In fear of an attempt to capture the continent by force the Asians threw many Chinese people (seeing as these were the lightest possible things to throw)at the capital of the Cascada Empire, Disney World Paris. However this would be a failed attempt as the most powerful Chinese general, Jackie Chan would betray his country in hopes of obtaining more power than Mr. T. In the following six days Cascada's song would air for the first time in America and and epic street sex battle would take place. The result left the football team that was training inside horny beyond belief. In only two days America would fall victim to Cascada's song leaving widespread masturbation in its path.
Scientific facts[edit | edit source]
Scientists have found that prolonged listening to Cascada can actually shrink the size of a mans testicles. (this is a true statement)
Discography[edit | edit source]
- Everytime We Touch
- Miracle (You Did Me)
- Neverending Wet Dream
- What Burned The Toast?
- One More Night In My Bed
- Bad Boy Bang Me
- Breathless (Too much cum)
- Cream on Creamers
- Runaway From Me I'm Gay
- Truly Fapping Deepthroat
- Who Do You Think You Are Asshole
- Evacuate The Dancefloor
- Because The Oblivion
- Fever You Live Forever