Camp Fuck You Die/Counselors

Current Counselors

Führer Bradley

At present, he seems to top the counselor list. This is, of course, canon.

Greed

The real Greed, none of this Ling nonsense kthx. Greed's a badass pimpmunculous who's withering away due to the no-sex rule.

Gregory House

His medication is always being stolen by children. It's also not lupus.

Gwendal von Walde

Likes to knit, small animals and- even if he is far from small OR cute- Urameshi Yuusuke. Emotionally retarded, but that one runs in the family. (aka: Lupin's mommy. Don't ask.)

Harley Quinn

Is responsible for ensuring the good mental health of all campers. Dear god.

Jean Havoc

Is the coolest counselor, 'nuff said. (Despite having 0 chance with women sans underaged Winry Rockbell.)(He's got Mustang anyway. Har.)

Izumi Curtis

Izumi is a bit fixated on her role as a housewife. Issues much? Also she likes to beat up Ed and Al with her humungous jugs because she loves them and is stupid for attempting human alchemy.

Jayne Cobb

He's in his bunk.

Hoban 'Wash' Washbourne

Is currently impaled to his counseling chair repeating "I am A counselor on the edge" over and over again. Pwnz Jayne on the comedy front.

Lord Il Palazzo

Lord Il Palazzo, perhaps more frequently known as Lord Ilpacock, is a deranged sociopath with multiple personalities... the perfect selection for an authority figure! But then, you'll all know that when you're kneeling before him!

Although Excel would like it to be known that if any of you are kneeling in front of him for any other purpose than general worship, she will kill you. She hasn't even gotten to do that yet. Editor would like to point out that if someone is there, it is likely at Il Palazzo's beck and call and Excel's judgment might be considered blasphemous.

...Excel would like to apologize for her blasphemy and humbly request that she be allowed to watch next time Lord Il Palazzo has sexual relations with Gillywang someone not her.

Lupin III

About as far from a responsible adult as you can get. Lupin's favorite pastimes include: flirting, stealing, flirting, getting drunk with Atsuko, making up demeaning nicknames for people, flirting, chilling out at the onsen, getting drunk with Xingba and Xiao, and of course, flirting.

Minagawa Hifumi

Badass voodoo cook. Will harm you if you screw with the Mess Hall or his cat.

Roy Mustang

Is a wet match.

And also an Iron Chef.

Sexy, too.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Wolfwood is only good for three things. Smoking, shooting crap, and having yelling matches with Urameshi Yuusuke. He does, however, moonlight as a priest on some occasions. Formerly known as Rabbi Nicholi D. Wolfkowitz[1].

Sha Gojyo

Gojyo only wants to get laid. He is also not gay. He is just married.

Solid Snake

Snake 's current location is classified. By classified, we mean probably banging Dante. Or training campers. He would like to state that any boxes spotted on camp are NOT to be kicked, shot at, or set on fire. However it is a big campus and accidents happen, Especially to people who still think mullets are cool.

Urameshi Atsuko

Atsuko likes to throw bottles at shounen retards, be they her own or be they not. Other interests include getting wasted, smashed, hammered, drunk, sloshed,pissed and any other words synonymous with heavy drinking. Adopted Rock Lee and Kagurazaka Asuna and forced Yuusuke into indentured servitude to pay for them all. GOOD TIMES.

Yukari

Tomo's crazy teacher and mother-figure who should never be allowed within ten yards of a motor vehicle.