Body-copter

An body copter is a type

Here an fat man is seen struggling to control his mexican body-copter.

of aircraft constructed from the body of a downfallen comrade. The means of construction vary, but follow a very simple procedure.

Constructing A Body-Copter

• Make Sure Pulse Has Stopped-You don't want to carve up a live one.

• Remove skin on the back.

• Tear Off legs.

• Strip meat from legs until their bare bone.

• Construct a prop-shaft using pieces of the spine.

• Attach leg bones to prop shaft.

• Using liver and appendix, construct a rotary type, wankel engine.

• Test fire.

• Place feet firmly on each hip bone. Make sure your well seated on the ribcage, using controls made of muscle and sinew, gently perform lift-off.

Range and Performance

At a speed of 24 Knots, and an overall range of over 300 miles (running on bile) the body-copter is an essential means of escape to those stranded in dangerous situations. Additional passengers can be carried elsewhere on the craft, or can hang from arms and/or head. Should starvation set in, the craft can be gradually consumed (starting at non-structural points first) to the bare chassis.

Disposal

When you finnally land/crash at your destination. There are numerous ways to dispose of whats left of your body-copter. The frequently practiced method is incineration, although it tastes like chicken if not overcooked.

Either way, this takes care of needing a funeral, and covering up any evidence left behind. Another commonly practiced method is to bury the craft, although this takes too much effort. In some cases, it may be necessary to return the vehicle back to its nearest family member, although this may become the subject of a lawsuit.

Everyday Usage

Overtime, a body-copter will slowly decompose. However, they can be a short-term form of transportation if you have an extra body or two laying around. Useful if you own a non-functional Cremation business, or take part in Reality Television, and/or use illegal immigrants for back breaking labor.

Famous People...who became body-copters

• John Hammond-Creator of Jurassic Park
• Richard Hammond
• Nick Nolte (in Vietnam)

See Also

• Vietnam War
• Survival
• Survivor Man